Bonjouis Paris♥-

BRACES

2012-01-24T23:51:00.002+08:00

Since it's the CNY holidays,i figured i might have a little bit of time to spend on blogging... :)
i've been neglecting this blog too many times..even though i've changed from a retail job to an office one,the alone time i have for myself isn't getting any better :/
I'm often working 6 days a week and there's at least a couple of OTs every week T________T
So yeah,time is still as limited and so is sleep.
i'm practically trying to keep up with sleep on every off day i get..

The good thing is,this job isn't really that stressful and i'm leading a pretty fine working life even if i kinda shut myself out from most people...idk i just can't really find anyone in the office whom i felt can really click with me and do those girly things like gossip and gush on kpop,makeup,cute guys etc etc..
But i guess its just me..i wanted too much fun in work i guess :/

ANW,ever since that resolution list posted previously (which i never got ard to posting it on the actual date i wrote it cos it wasn't completed yet^^;),i've finally gotten braces :DD !

I was so excited and all about it but now that i'm finally wearing them in my teeth.........well i feel pretty :/ about it .
i went thru abit of pain and overcoming my fear of tooth extraction and all but now its DAY 5 and i've really YET to see any improvements with my teeth.
Maybe a few minor ones,but nothing really amazing.

Then again,i've done my research and most people stated that it'd take at least a month to really see results so i guess i'll have to wait :/

Even though prev i was hoping braces would boost my confidence,i was wrong...
i felt even less confident that before i had braces cos there's currently 4 big gaps in between my upper & lower teeth thanks to the tooth extractions & i find it hard to close my mouth fully with the braces poking my lips T________T

How i wished i had crooked tooth or smth,but no,i have an overbite ):

My teeth conditions aren't as cute as this adorable boy:

So cute ♥

The last few procedures kinda went like this:

Before that was the separators,molar rings which doesn't hurts at all for me.
i even chewed off one of the separators while eating i think -,-

The extraction was pretty bad,not as in painful bad,but giddy bad.
I was pretty much numb-ed throughout the whole procedure and there wasn't much of a pain after wards when the numbness wore off,but seeing the sight of blood got me all giddy and losing it.
Blood just came out non-stop from my mouth so it was pretty hard to control.
Worse thing is,i'm only left with half a packet of tissues to wipe and cover my mouth,which obviously wasn't enough for the amount of blood that was dripping.
EWW YUCK GROSS.

And i can't even ask the taxi driver to drive me back home cos i couldn't even speak at all.
All that came out of my mouth were just muffled words :/

When i finally reached home,all i wanted to do was to lie down on my bed and sleep and sleep and pray that the blood would've stopped aft i woke up.
But no,i woke up twice and checked and kept rinsing off the blood but it still keeps flowing T-T
So i pop in new cotton wools and dragged myself back to bed again ):

My head was spinning,but i'm not sure if it was cos of the loss of blood or the sight of blood that made me feel like fainting.

Anw the extraction was over,it was time for braces.
I had so much hope for it,but that hope is kinda dying a little each day i looked in the mirror at my teeth.
When i smile big,i can see those gaps in my teeth.
IT'S SO UGLY T____________________T

& i only found out recently that extraction gaps would take at least 6 months to close !!
So now i'm just gonna live with a toothless smile?!!

How can i?

Ughhhh i think Min here fits my emotions v well:

i feel so F-up and self conscious about my mouth now ):
Guess i'll just have to cover it whenever i need to talk or smile at someone?
Wouldn't people find me weird?

And i think i'm kinda giving up the hope of meeting mr right this year with my stupid ugly teeth.

I def don't want to scare off guys by opening my metal mouth T____________T
Guess i'll be even quieter than i already am HA HA HA .

On a side note,i really miss YOU.

Yes you drunk looking silly boy.

GOOD BYE 2011,HELLO 2012 AND NEW RESOLUTIONS

2011-12-31T23:05:00.003+08:00

Good Bye 2011 , Hello 2012 ♥

Well,its the new year now so i'll start off with a TOP list for 2011 and a WISH list for 2012 :)

TOP LIST OF 2011
(aka the most memorable moments that i'd never forget)

1. Seeing Yunho & Changmin after 2 years.

this is def on the very top of my list cos nothing can describe the amount of emotions i felt when i knew i was going to see HoMin and when i saw and heard them as TVXQ,even as a duo,the same support and love i had for TVXQ since 5 years ago was still there ♥
That's when i realised that,no matter how many years would past,no matter they'd continue as a group of 3 and 2 or reunite as 5,my love and support for them is undying.

thats when i learned,they'd always be a part of my life,takes up a part of my heart.

saranghae,Yunho and Changmin oppa ♥

2. Changing to an office job.

def one of my "dream"came true.
always wanted to quit the service line esp after seeing so many ugly people and having to deal with loads of shits and attitude thats causing me to be more short tempered and easily annoyed.
ughhh i hate to be this way,so i'm glad i changed my job and started to actually regain myself back.
even though sometimes the long hours of OT and having met a sickening old pervert (lao te gou) in the office is stressing me out at times,but i've been more positive thinking than negative.
Prob thanks to my ex-colleague who's always so cheerful and positive.
i'm glad she spread all that positivity to me cos it sucks to be negative and pissed the whole damm time.
its really not worth to feel mad or brood too much over some things in life,you just have to learn how to let positiveness outwit and outlast whatever negative thoughts that goes into your head :)

3. Learning more about myself,boys and suddenly have the thought of getting into BGR.

thanks to a certain him,for making me think deep about this topic and actually seriously considering to want to start dating while the past me has always been more like "just let fate takes me along".
i think it has been a long time since i actually felt that rush of giddiness and thumping heartbeat?
Prob since my sec school years when i had this huge puppy crush on one of the seniors whom also somehow influenced a part of my life and led me to discover rap music (abide some songs with a little bit of horny lyrics lol).
But this feeling right now is not exactly what i'd use puppy crush to describe,cos i'm way past over that age.
Not so sure if this will carry me to anywhere far,not really knowing how long i can last when he's affecting my moods almost every freaking day ):
its getting kinda bad cos now,every little thing seems to matter and having an emotional impact on me.
i don't really like to feel this way sometimes,but i can't tear away from it.
so right now i can only hope fate,courage,faith will somehow brings us somewhere out from the tangled mess and into a world where there's just only you and me.
Prob might be hoping for too much,but as long as one doesn't gives up,i'd never give up.
i just hope my heart's ready to take in whatever pains that i might face during this journey.

Guess thats about all for 2011?
Not really much of a year tbh.
i don't even remb much about the first half of the year -,- !!
But to me,2011 wasn't that great a year......not sure if 2012 would be better,but i prayed and hoped for the best.

♥ 2012 RESOLUTIONS LIST ♥

so,i did this kind of list every year but the resolutions always don't seem to stick very well -.-
Thus this year,i'd make really really SIMPLE resolutions that are easy to persevere and keep.

♥ Lose weight (no limit to this,even if by dropping 1 or 2 kg it'd be a great achievement. Don't know how many times this has appeared top of my new year resolutions list lol)

♥ Get braces done (appt coming soon,i hope i can get this done and over with T-T)

♥ Smile & be more friendly and confident aft getting braces (i wished to change this aspect of me aft getting braces...hate to feel self conscious,low self esteem and loss of confidence everytime i open my mouth at someone. i swear,if i actually looks nicer aft braces,i'd smile and get to know "ppl" from all the diff departments in my office,cos its getting a little boring in my dept...i need some escape or learn to socialise with small groups/strangers first ^^)

♥ See JaeJoong oppa before he leaves for army (not sure if i will be financially stable to fly to see him off,but i really wants to tell him i love him before he leaves for 2 freaking long years ! its gonna be so hard to get by without him....when he has been the source of my energy and light for the past 5 years....i don't know how i can live without him T_____________________T)
Kajima,oppa ♥

♥ Last resolution...i'm not quite sure yet..but i guess it'd be EARN AND SAVE lots of money this year...i haven't been great at saving and spent alot the past year.
Esp on things like concerts,clothes,makeup,TVXQ/JYJ/JaeJoong official and non-official goods and some random stuffs?
i'll try to cut down on that this year...
Like filter out those that i would REALLY need and those that i buy in just a moment of folly.
Yeah,shall work hard to save money for certain things like a trip to korea that i've always wanted :)

FIGHTING,EVERYONE :D !

HEART BREAK.

2011-11-26T00:45:00.003+08:00

i'm just a twenty year old girl...someone who had gone through alot,in work and life,but had never once been in love.
But isn't it funny how the things that means the most to you,that motivates you every day is also the thing that can hurt you the most,that can break you down like you've never felt before?

i experienced that for the past couple of months...i've never felt this way before,like i'm on a roller coaster ride or a merry go round.
Its making me feel joy then sadness the next...it brought me through so much highs and lows and there was never i could do about it.
i just don't have the courage and confidence to...and its not helping if the opposite is doing the same too.
Therefore,i'd like to close this chapter and just end it here.
Those heart beats,heartfelt moment and tears i've shed,shall forever be a buried secret i can never reveal.

I may not be able to move on so soon...but i will some day..
Thanks for letting me knows what jealousy is,what heartbreak would've felt like,how it feels when you felt the person you like likes you back,how letting go of someone would've felt so painful.
But i can't continue in this game anymore.
I've lost,i quit...

***next post update might have to be after MAMA,TVXQ and SNSD concerts..hopefully it won't be such an emo depressing boring post :)

PERSONAL THOUGHTS IN WORK AND LIFE

2011-10-30T04:59:00.003+08:00

♥ PERSONAL ENTRY ♥

First up before i goes all fangirly spazzy over HoMin coming over to my country :DDD♥ i shall blog a little bit about personal life and thoughts,thus 2 sep entries so that this blog wouldn't look so messy :)

Lately,i've been feeling even less confident and uncomfortable in my own skin than before.
I felt like i'm getting unneeded attention and looks from creepy guys,guys that i'm not even interested in knowing and which i've already shown all over my face that i'm not interested,but i still get creepy stares.
Wtf.
i'd rather be that Miss Nobody than having to deal with creeps like that.
They're like those big cockroaches or lizards that you're dying to get rid of when they enter your house except that insects can be killed easily.

And in a way to ignore that attention and cover up my uneasiness,i'd often show a more confident or it can be said more arrogant face and not smiling at people whom i saw before but don't really know.
Thus,people gets the impression of me being unfriendly and cold.
But i'd rather they think that way than me attracting unwanted attention and suffering from creeps everyday.

i found a statement online that someone posted and felt like i could relate to it very well:

" Over the years I have just become accustomed to the fact that people do periodically look at me. After a while you become indifferent towards people passing by, even 'immune' say, to the attention. I know it may seem cold, but strangers are still strangers even if they notice me. That's why I don't often give them recognition or acknowledgment, they are pretty much invisible to me. Nonetheless if I am in a really good mood I will sparingly smile or grin at some guys (assuming it is safe of course), but heck don't get mad just because we don't simper at every person who walks by us. If we did that all the time we would receive an unwanted response. "

Yup,strangers are still strangers.
If i want to know you,i would.But fact is,i don't.
And becos of the occasional unwanted attention,i've grown kinda uneasy around people and can't really trust those "super willing to talk" kind of people whom i met,but instead i like people who are not that bothered about me or seems cold and ignores me sometimes or seems a little blur and gullible.LOL.

Well,those pests aside,there is a someone whom make me feel differently...
i was wondering what thoughts would normally runs through people's head when they stare at someone?

For me,i'd prob just be thinking "omg he's so gorgeous ~ how can he be so good looking/cute" ,but is that the same for guys?

i don't have confidence that i could bring happiness to someone,esp when the person just seems too good for me.
i'm not confident about myself or my looks or my weight or my personality and i guess in order to avoid emotional damage,i should let myself cool down and not fall too deep unless he is someone that proved my low confidence wrong.

i'm interested in knowing him,but how could i ever dare to face him when my heart beats like crazy,cheeks blushing and hot and nervous system going all wacky when i thought of the idea of looking into his eyes?!

If it were JaeJoong,it'd be different though..LOL but anw,JJ often ignores me which makes me like him even more.
Does this makes me a S-type? T-T

Well,no matter how this could go,i'd wait a few days and see.
i think the whole situation might be solved in a few days' time and whether i suffer heartbreak or heartrace,i'd know...very soon :)

Moving on,I felt like i had had enough sometimes...usually when i met problems or faced with things that could upset me,i'd choose to look past it and ignore it so then i wouldn't be bothered by it and be emo the whole day.
Thats usually how i deal with disappointing shits and people whom i don't like.
Cos ignorance is bliss ♥

CRAZY PEOPLE,CRAZY GIRL ON TRAIN

2011-10-01T00:20:00.003+08:00

Today's post will be more personal and yes,abit of rant but no fangirly talk for this post :)
Something more personal and private and an issue that i'd like to express here.

Though i've cooled down over the anger and pissed off feelings that i felt a few hours ago while on the train,i decided to write the whole story down here as i'm still feeling quite unbelievable by how people carries themselves in the public transport.
My entry/words might felt somewhat pissed/angry at some point while relieving what happened,just to note.

Firstly,i've experienced the crazy mad dash for the train that happened everyday when i go to and from work,so i can understand why people behaves a little more rowdy when they wants to catch the train.
Cos honestly,our country does not have enough trains to serve all the commuters here.
And that often results in people pushing each other to get on the train,people feeling stuffy or pissed off early in the morning cos of the pushing and others who didn't manage to get on the train felt unhappy too.
They often wants us to have more babies,but i think something has to be done to solve the problem of public transport first instead of thinking of wanting more and more.
If people increases,but the efficiency and number of trains and buses remains the same,isn't it harder for us to get around?
It reminds me of the situation in other countries whereby people would climb or squeeze themselves while hanging half out the door in the trains..though our situation is not like that,but i think it shows a good example of having many citizens in your country,but not enough public transport to carry them.

Ok,that aside,i'll be writing about what i experienced just now on the train back home.
So i was rushing into the train like everybody else,and searching for a seat and saw just 1 seat left on the right lane where i was looking at.
So i went to sit on it and just at the same time,there was another young school girl eyeing the same seat as i did and she too,made the rush for it.
In the end,i sat on the seat first before she does and saw there were a couple empty seats behind her.
But instead of her searching for another seat since she seems to desperately needed one,no,she choose to place her bulky bag in front of my feet and stood in front of me.

So,i didn't thought much of her actions then and took out my ear phones and jam in to my itouch's music.
Until she starts pushing her bulky bag closer to my feet,i felt it and looked up cos i was surprised,and she just said a "sorry" while looking down elsewhere but at me directly.
And she don't even look like she's that sincere about apologizing cos her face shows she's somewhat secretly happy with her actions.

Ok,fine,maybe she didn't meant it,so i ignored her and continued playing with my itouch,then for some reason,she raised up her bag and carried it in front of her so that her bag is now facing to me,face to face (or bag to face,lol).
And again,i did not gave much thought.
Until she starts moving herself and the freaking bag closer to my face.
And she keeps doing that repeatedly so that her bag would bump into me or comes close to my face when i was using my itouch.
Now i finally get it that she's doing it on purpose.
It pissed me off cos i can't believe this little girl in front of me is actually resorting to this?
To get back at me for "snatching" "her" seat?!
Like seriously?!

You're upset with me over a bloody seat,so much and enough to agitate you to did what you did?
Then what would you do if your bf has female friends?Are you gonna flip your nuts and not talk to him for a week?
I mean,this is just simply ridiculous.

Your actions,the way you carried yourself just made me wants to roll my eyes at you,but i felt angry at that time,so i had to keep cooling down myself.

Anw,i ended up having to cross my legs just so to prevent her from getting closer and using her bag to bump me.
And my legs happened to hit hers,but i didn't brother to say anything to her,too angry for words and if anything that would come out from my mouth might not sound very pleasing when i'm on the verge of exploding and telling her off to give me some personal space and watch her bag.

After that she moved herself closer to my crossed leg and presses hers on it.
WTF.
Bitch,you're crossing over the borders.
There's a limit to everyone's patience and you're testing it too much.
They say actions speaks louder than words and your actions are a good definition of a sore loser bitch who gets pissed cos she didn't get her way,in this case,get her SEAT (LOLOL) and resorted to low down means to get back at the person.

I ended up moving my leg away to behind her leg so she won't have a chance to use her leg to push against mine's.
And then she left 2 stops later -,-

seriously,i just do not understand this kind of person's actions.
But there,speaking about it makes me feel so much better now and now it don't brothers me what she did.

& i know for sure,i won't stoop to this kind of actions to take on people who got the seat before me.
That's just stupid.
And lame.

p/s. sorry for the harsh language used here,as i could not think of a better word to describe her actions then and these all all based on how i felt at that time and the impression she gave me of what kind of person she's like :)

JYJ'S UPCOMING CONCERTS + UPDATES

2011-09-20T04:45:00.003+08:00

This blog is not dead yet...at least i'm trying not to let it die...haha -,-
i think its funny..how i used to spend all my time making icons,avatars,siggys and updating this blog in the past but now i'm often too busy to do it anymore..

And now ever since i changed my job to working in a office,i've also been pretty occupied with work cos my work days are 6 days a week O_O
It was supposed to be 5 days,but i think they're lacking manpwr,so many of the temp staffs are working 6 days...
Which i don't mind actually since i've been spending all my money on fangoods and stuffs...all that guilt after i transferred or bought something T-T
Hate it when fangoods are so exp...but i can't stop myself from getting stuffs like photobooks...esp that of OT5/DB5K or YoonJae....
i prefer getting those old photobks than new ones...the only new ones i've gotten are just JaeJung focused :)
i'll try to post pics up,though the only one i've gotten is Jaetime fangoods...the rest are still awaiting ~~~

Anw,in regards to the photo i posted up there,its JaeJoong from In Heaven album ♥
He looks like a snow prince....so beautiful ♥ !
i've ordered a copy of the RED version already...though i'm scared i might not be able to get it since Cjes announced the red is OOS ;_;

Seems like many people are still selecting red...though idk what their reasons are,but for me,RED = Cassiopeia = TV5Q = HoMin = JYJ,red still means ALOT to me ♥

Cuz i believe,some day,some where,the 5 of you will meet again....
Maybe there's no more DB5K...but they've never bid goodbye either,so i'm just keeping the faith that 5 persons who prob still has feelings for each other,be it negative or positive,will someday meet face to face again...

And i personally think,that day will only come when the lawsuit between SME and JYJ ends.
Yes,maybe then no one will be able to stop them or avoid the situations of bumping into each other...
i just hope they'd still be able to hug each other,even if there's no words spoken,but yeah,just a nice little hug will be heart warming...besides these guys had been together for so long that even without speaking,they know whats going on each other's minds just by looking at their expressions.

JaeJoong said so himself too,that he knows HoMin,which means he believes in them and knows what kind of person they are, and i believe my 5 even more ♥

Ahhhh anw,i saw the news of JYJ possibly might hold a concert at Malaysia and Thailand...geeeez i can't wait !~
This time,i'm gonna go no matter what ~!!
I need to hear them sing "In heaven" live...the song my baby composed...its such a beautiful sad song,yet its something i had on repeat on my itune...i love listening to it,over and over again ♥

Well,now i'll just wait for their official updates...but i kinda hope they held it either in end dec or next year feb so that i can have time to save up just in case i need to chase them from bkk > KL again or vice versa.
Last time i did it,it was physically tiring,not to mention they squeezed SG in between D;
LOL but this time,i think its gonna be worth it....its nearly a year since i saw them aft all !!

God how i miss JaeJung...how i wish there was a fanmeet again and how i'd just get my WORDS out of my mouth...even if its just saying that simple "saranghae JJ ~" or ily,anything just to at least try talking to him T-T

I was such a clueless dumb babo back then,i only knew how to run and gazed at them but i didn't know or remb to open my mouth.
That i actually had so much to say,but everytg just became blank when i saw JJ...haha what almighty JJ can do to fangirls ♥

Anw,i think i'm just ranting and blabbering on my fangirly-ness...time to stop and catch some sleepzzz.
i'll do my best to update here,but in case i don't,i'll def spazz over here before JYJ's concerts at bkk and kl ;D
Can't have too much things bottled up inside aft all ~^^

G.night ! ♥

A NO TOPIC POST + STAY POSITIVE

2011-07-31T03:23:00.002+08:00

Hi,
pardon for this simple post without pictures.

i know i've been neglecting this blog again,always promising to update/post pictures,but ended up not having the time to do so..
i looked back on my previous posts and realized that...i do miss posting pictures of my fangoods when they arrived,spazzing over DBSK photobooks,editing and creating banners/icons/sigs etc etc.
Those were my fave pastimes...when DBSK were still 5....

i miss doing all that,so much.
Now,i don't do it anymore.
Maybe its simply becos i don't have the time to do so,or the interest and excitement in doing all that has died down when the lawsuit threatened our fandom...

How time flies...it has been 2 years?3 years?
Still,nothing yet....everything is still not settled yet.
But i'm still supporting both groups as much as i can,trying to stay positive,think positive,be cheerful when good news of both groups were released,be supportive when JJ tweeted something that upset him...

i realized that i had been trying really really hard,but i know the once happy fandom when every fan was an OT5,when there was no such support group like HoMin stans / JYJ stans that exists.
That happy fandom is sadly,gone.

Probably never gonna come back...

No,i shall not mourn over what was once that made me happy,that cheered me up,that led me to experience alot of "first times",that was the source of my everyday sugar...

With a new job starting next week,i prob might not have as much time to dedicate to this fandom..there might be sacrifices to be made in order for me to get use to my new job first.
Soooooooooooo i shall take a back seat for awhile,whilst still trying to keep up to date with their happenings and splurging on crazy fangoods....i'll try my best to manage fandom and work and of cos sleep....

Before ending this post that doesn't seems to have a main topic (-___-),i'd like to tell everyone who is still a fan of TVXQ,esp the OT5 fans,let's all be positive and support them in every way we could :) !

THINK POSITIVE EVERYDAY,IT REALLY HELPS TO LIFT UP YOUR MOOD AND LET YOU VIEW THE WORLD AND NEGATIVE THINGS IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT !

Happiness is a drug that everyone loves so spread that to all the people around you ^^ !

-Cheers-

C.WEN♥

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PARK YOOCHUN ~

2011-06-04T03:07:00.002+08:00

Was gonna watch the dvds that i have yet to watch for the longest time..but ughhh my lappy keep burning up on me so i decided to do my blogging instead :)

Well it has been 2 months since i last blogged :( !
i think this is the longest hiatus i've ever been since i started this blog.
Blame twitter.
Ever since JJ has a twitter account,i'm on twitter like 24/7 so yes,i'm very much addicted to twitting now ^^;;

I try my best not to neglect this blog...i will try my best ^^

Anw,i'm back on here wanting to do a HAPPY BIRTHDAY PARK YOOCHUN post,but i guess i'll have to leave the pictures for later as it's 3am plus here now.

So,i'll just wish him a happy happy bday for his birthday tml ^^

You're one of the sweetest,charming,humble person i've ever met.
I love the fact that you aren't afraid to speak out your thoughts.
But do share the pain with us so that you won't have to suffer alone.
You left me with the deepest impression the first i met TVXQ at the second con.
Becos you were so sweet and interact with us so much.
Becos you were so silly to pull on a Santa hat and run around with your cuteness and acting like an adorable 5year old kid on Xmas day.

i'm glad and thankful to have known you and like many other fangirls,i like your deep sexy bedroom voice.
Erhm.

ANW. PICTURES TO END THE POST :)

*i will post up more Chunnie spam pics when i get the time*

Let's have a hot naughty dirty Min to end this post.

O'yeah "mother father" xD

Have a great June month~

MY PERSONAL VIEWS ON JYJ AND HOMIN'S FANS

2011-04-01T01:46:00.002+08:00

How long have you seen this smile?
I'm looking for it...

Am i a JYJ fan?
No,not really,at least i don't think i am a hardcore JYJ fan.
My love for TVXQ5 and JJ exceeds more than my love for JYJ.
That,will never change.

Do i love the JYJ from 東方神起?
Yes,yes i do.

When i saw JaeJoongie posted that up on his twitter profile,the first thing that came to my mind was that he has never given up on DBSK.
It will always be a part of him.
Whether it was the past or the future,it represents a part of him.

When i read that,i suddenly had a feeling that JYJ felt more like a sub-unit of TVXQ...like TVXQ was never apart,they were never officially announced as separated,none of the members ever said that TVXQ5 is over.

Just like how Orange caramel is a sub-grp of After school,SJ-M is a sub-grp of SJ,etc.

i don't dare to call myself a JYJ fan,becos i've never been the hardcore one,not the one that likes everything about JYJ,that loves all their songs.......
Yes i do buy their albums,yes i do attend their showcases,yes i do want to see them....but sometimes,i felt like i'm doing all these just for JaeJoong.

Becos i want the best for him.
Becos i want to see him smile again.
Becos i want him to be the happy JaeJoong.
Becos i want to see him succeed.
Becos i don't want him to give up hope.

Recently i've been checking out one of the JYJ fansites that provides some of the most reliable sources,but reading the comments really upsets me and i decided that the site is not for me.

Those hardcore fans...they were tearing apart the faith i had in all 5 of them.

Honestly,do they think that was the best they could do to "show" their love for JYJ?

Do they think JYJ actually had that same amount of hatred in them for the other 2 members?

Do they think it makes them,as JYJ fans ( and most def not Cassiopeias,not the past Cassie or the present Cassie),looks good and mighty?

Of cos they blamed the other side for doing the same thing to them in other sites,but you,by repeating the same action,ain't any better.

i felt so ashamed to be there,to have to read those horrible disgusting hate comments,they behaved like they were experienced antis who have done the same thing to other artistes before..

i don't care if you are a biased JYJ or HoMin fansite,but by deleting the comments/bashings of one side and yet allowing the other side to continuously post bashing comments,that's just real low class.

What are you trying to prove?
That the fans of one side all behaved like some internet bullies and crazy antis?
That you're the mighty one cos you can delete bashings of those you don't want to read yet let others see the bashings that you think is right?
That it is absoutely OK to let others hurt becos of those senseless immatured comments?

i'm afraid to call myself a JYJ fan cos i am def not any of those stated above.

You blame YoonJae fans for always shouting Yunho's name in JJ's face.
Yes,it was rude and awkward.
But to go to the point of speaking for JJ,are you even fit to?
What are you to him?Nothing,but a stranger.
A stranger that we might past by everyday without noticing.

None of them knows JJ personally,but yet they spoke up for him like they were actually his close friends.
No,not even his closest friends says shit like that.
They're much more sensible and knows better than that.

So,please,STOP SAYING "JAEJOONG DON'T LIKE THAT" , "JAEJOONG LIKES THIS" etc etc cos that is just simply put: a piece of crap.

You can't speak up for him.
You can't assume things for him.
You can't predict his thoughts for him.
You can't control him from what he likes or don't like.
You can't say things on his behalf becos you are not him.

SO PLEASE,JUST SHUT UP AND STOP THE FIGHTING?

i don't care if those people has lost their faith long ago,but that does'nt means they can destroy the faith others have for them.

i will keep supporting them,whether they still love each other now or not,whether they misses or thinks about each other,whether they still hopes for a reunion or not,i will not give up until the time to come to do so.
Even so,i will still support JJ,whatever choices he might make,i will not give up on the faith i have in him :)

Why not go spread the love instead of spreading so much of your hate?

SOME PERSONAL SPAZZ AND RANTS

2011-03-26T01:53:00.002+08:00

Annyong.
i know i have alot to update and this blog has been a little abandoned...ughh.

Some updates/rants i need to get out ^^

Handled in my letter last week,but they seemed to think that the reason i gave it is mainly cos of those 2.
Well,it wasn't just mainly becos of them.
i felt like i need a change of environment..working in a happier and stress-free place,enjoying and loving my work,a nice small and quiet place would suit someone like me who sometimes likes to keep to herself and other times like to find people to spazz random topics with.

i don't know what to say...but i said i'd think over it cos i'm a lil confused atm.
i'll really need to spend some time to think.

Another sad thing that had happened is that i lost my Changmin KYHD photocard T.T
ughhhh i finally found Uknow's card and was about to trade when i could'nt find Minnie's card.
Sigh.
Lately i've been running into bad luck...shall not dwell so much on it.
So i'll be buying a new copy,the normal ed to get a new photocard :/
i really wanted to buy the repackaged one though with the song "Before you go" cos i loved that song more than the one they sang with Seohyun.
i love R&B ballad songs :) !!
Oh well sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i will not dwell on it,dwelling on it is just gonna make me a pessimistic and i don't want to be one ^^;

Lastly,

Not about YoonJae,but i just wanted to post a YoonJae photo ^^;

JJ is in Thailand now and god bless him,i hope he'll be fine there since an earthquake happened in Myanmar a few days back.
They said its quite near Thailand,so i'm a lil worried for him since it seems like he'll be in Thailand all the way until 2/3 April when the showcase starts.
OMG lucky Thai fans !!!
Sighhhhhh having JJ spending 2/3 weeks in your country!
Seeing JJ every single day for 2/3 weeks !
Gosh i wanna be able to see him everyday like that too.heehee.

Sounds stalker-ish,but i don't mean it that way.I'm not a hard core stalker,since JJ has mentioned he wants to have his own space.
i hope he comes early to Singapore too,please oh please spend 2/3 weeks here as well !!! xD

Okay,maybe not since i won't be able to take 2-3 weeks off,so even if he's here,i won't be able to see him anyway and thats even harder to endure than not having him here ! LOL.

I think there might be a possiblity he might come over earlier since the fanmeet event that was supposed to be on 16(?)april is postponed...so he'll be free,i THINK.

A lot of things are not cfm yet and i haven't even gotten the tickets or know how much it costs,so we'll wait for time to tell ~~

23RD APRIL-JJ AND JKS

2011-03-10T02:29:00.002+08:00

JJ is coming to town~~~~Coming to town~~~~~

BB's coming really soon,on 23rd April ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
1 week before my bdayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy♥
OMG this is like the best bday gift ever,though it'd had been better if he comes on 29th April.hahah.

Can't believe i finally get to see him in April,so close to my bday.
Not just him coming,JYJ will be coming again,this time for a concert !
& its held at Spore indoor stadium.
Awesome place ♥

Loved the stadium after i went for SJ's con.
Its spacious,the stage layout is great where the artistes can just run everywhereeeeeeee.
& best of all is that it's INdoors of cos xD

Whenever its outdoors,i'd worry about the rain or the sun being too hot.
Who'd want to look drenched or sweaty when they see the person they like?

Love FnD so far,hope the con would be a success and pray that i'd get vip tix.
i don't want to get standing tix since i disliked standing for hours or having to squeeze with people and getting pushed around,my hair getting sticky and my clothes getting sweaty.
Ughhh.Gone are the days of what i'd normally do if i were still a teenager.

Now i just want to sit back and watch their concert,smiling and cheering them on,hear their beautiful voices fill the stadium and just enjoy the show.
Then get high when its the right time,like if JJ reaches out his hand,of cos i would'nt be sitting there and just smile at him xD
Like when i thought i was gonna just sit and enjoy the show for SS3 since the seats are'nt that close to the main stage,but when Siwon reaches out that big manly hands of his,the temptation to rush forward for a hand touch is hard to resist xD

Anw,JJ I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU & i do miss him already even though its only 5 months since i last saw him.
Miss his big eyes,pretty smile,gentle eyes and everything.

Better listen more to JYJ's music so i can sing along when i'm at the con ^^

& JKS aka Jang Geun Suk aka Hwang Taekyung is coming as well !!!!!
The same person whom i saw last April 23rd 2010 is also coming back on the same day- 23rd April 2011 -___- hehe.
Still has very fond memories of him,esp at the airport when he got mobbed and when he walked towards me,okay not me but towards the entrance that was behind me xD
He was wearing those big dark shades,but you can already feel his fiercey glare,his infamous fiercy full of emotions eyes♥

So wants to see him too,but i don't think its possible when he's coming on the same day as JJ T.T
Hope they're staying at the same hotel to make stalking easier xD
Wanna see both of em♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥~

23rd April,woooottttttttttttttttttttt i can't wait ♥

JYJ + HOMIN ALBUMS

2011-02-24T05:20:00.002+08:00

Becos i am lazy to blog and too tired everytime i get home from work,my blog gets neglected quite often compared to last yr/2 yrs ago.

Now i'm more on twitter where JJ has an account there,so i'm on it everytime i switched on my lappy xD

Maybe one day when i finally changed my job,i might be able to blog more frequently with loads of pics too.
But i hate uploading at photobucket now.
Ever since they changed their layout and system,it got much more troublesome and pisses me off sometimes trying to even upload a couple of pics :/

Anw,hope i can blog about the JYJ Music Essay and HoMin's KYHD (Wae) next time^^

Love both albums,but i don't really like the dark artistic photos from KHYD album.
it just kinda covered up their handsome faces?
i mean with so much black/white makeup smeared on their faces,i can't really goes all fangirly when i saw the photos ;X

& another thing that upsets me was that the KYHD album was already opened when i went to collect it :/
With the wrapper gone and no explaination from the blogshop owner.What the?!
At least let me know in advance or just give me an excuse why it's opened instead of surprising me when i went to collect!

Pretty pissed cos i like to open up my DBSK collectibles on my own and i like to admire them with their plastic wrappers on before i tear them up like receiving gifts on Xmas day.
So it took the fun out of everytg :/

i got a Minnie card,the one where it looked like it was taken 5 years ago when he was still 16/17.
LOL.Thats how young he looked in the photo.
Am now trying to find Ho card though-am Ho-biased :)

Hopefully i have more time to blog about these and some others some time when i'm not so tired and lazy.
Which is prob not any time soon unless i get to take my leave which is rather hard...ugh now i know how they felt.

sleep-time~

HAPPY 23RD BIRTHDAY SHIM CHANGMIN

2011-02-18T02:53:00.004+08:00

HAPPY 23RD BIRTHDAY,SHIM CHANGMIN~

Every year,it feels like you're changing,going from the cutesy image to a matured image,someone who takes his work seriously and strive hard for what he wants.

You're someone i admires.
Someone who is smart,entertaining,straight forward and usually his facial expressions can says what he's thinking without him saying it out.

Been 2 years plus since i last saw you and Yunnie...i'm greedy though,i wishes to see all 5 of you on the same stage instead of going to 2 different stages to see...but that does'nt seem that possible now huh.

Anw,i hope you have the dearest sweetest 23rd birthday with the fans and the people you love ^^

P/s "Wae" KYHD japanese ver keeps playing on our local tv cf cos of the jap drama !!!
OMG once they aired it,i'll get to listen to "Wae" the full ver everyday?!!?

Meanwhile,i loved hearing HoMin's "Wae" chorus repeating on tv,makes me actually look forward to the cfs.hahah.

YAY FOR HOMIN :)

GETTING NEW SPECS + COOL PHOTO EDITING TOOL

2011-02-09T04:53:00.002+08:00

Overdid myself again~~
Went to order my Evisu specs and wanted one just like the one Yunnie's been wearing lately.
As seen here and in many airport pics :)

But but~Could'nt seem to find these kind of big big frame and when i did find one that was similar,i tried it on and it seemed to make my already-huge face even bigger :/
Guess those huge oversized frames could only fit someone with a face as small as Yunnie's -.-

Depressed,i tried on others and with the optimist's opinion and mine's,i ended up getting one that's similar to what i have now -.-
Love the dark red frames Evisu has,but i did'nt want red ):

Can't wait to collect it,though i think i'm more excited about the fact that its Crizal lens than its an Evisu frame.
Crizal lens seems pretty suited for someone as careless as me since my frames always ended up scratched or smudged ):
Hopefully crizal lens can help me prolong my specs' life in my hands xD
Gonna cherish it like it's Yunnie to make the dough all worth T.T
Wished the Evisu logo was in studs instead of being a normal red color though :/
But at least they have a 10% off for the frame,maybe i'll like it more when i have it permanetly in my hands xD

Tried a new image editor tool and i LOVE the effect it brings.
Like wow~it can give the image that animated look~
& smoothes and corrects all the imperfections which i love xD
Example:

Been awhile since i last touch my photo editing progs ):
So i started exploring and making new lj icons ^^

Love how it gives JJ a bright beautiful animated look~

& brings out Sica's nice orange hair~

Got to sleep.

1 MORE DAY TO CHOI SIWON'S BDAY :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

HAPPY 25TH BIRTHDAY JUNG YUNHO

2011-02-06T01:40:00.003+08:00

Forever Love ♥

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUNG YUNHO ♥♥♥♥♥

Thank you for being the best leader DBSK could have.
Thank you for being so caring towards the members,for treating them and protecting them like your family,for holding back your tears and hugged each and every one of them when they're crying,for being like a father figure to them when they're without their real families,for being the big hearted one who forgives and forgets their mistakes,for being the one who would rather be hurt than seeing the other 4 members getting hurt.

Thank you for taking care of JJ oppa,for letting him show his motherly side,for making him laugh and blushes,for holding onto him like he's the most precious thing in the world.

Thank you for the past 10 years of being by JJ's side.
i wished nothing could come between the two of you...i really wished hard.
You were always the big hearted one who can take and go easily,please continue to hold his hand even when you don't see him that often anymore.
Please don't let go of the beautiful memories that was once created and built for the past 7 years.

Before my wishings get emo,i just wants to wish you to have the best 25th birthday you could have.
i hope you're happy now and i hope you will be even more happier in the future.

i hope you'll take the path that your heart says and ignore what others may think.

i hope you'll be blessed with all the love and support from everyone that you loved ♥

& becos my baby,JJ's birthday is that close to yours,i shall dedicate the below pics to my fave YoonJae.

0204 & 0206 //1986.

{ ♥ }

{ ♥ }

{ ♥ }

{ ♥ }

i'm still holding on...are you?

A SIMPLE WISH..

2011-02-04T04:06:00.002+08:00

时间很快就将过去了。。。有时回头想想：我有好好的保握每个时刻吗？
有时很希望时间能停留在一个时刻。。不想要说再见，不想要和你分开，不想要面对明天带来的日子。
不想要面对这一切。能看到你就是幸福，能听到你就是一种无法形容的满足。
不想要忘记这一切。。不想要放开这一刹那的幸福。

如果有缘我们会再见。
但有时缘分是要自己去争取的。。
不想要一生的后悔。。我要尽量去争取自己的幸福。

希望我能更加用力的珍稀每一个辛福的时刻。。。不要每次都在外空。。该会来地球拉。。。

SJ SUPER SHOW 3 CONCERT IN SG SHORT FAN ACC

2011-01-31T03:00:00.003+08:00

Thank you for the unforgettable night on 29th Jan !!!!!♥♥♥♥

You're the sweetest,nicest,charming gentleman i've ever met and this is no exaggeration !!!
I'm really thankful to you for making me smile and filled with happiness and giddyness the whole day even while i'm typing this ;_;

SJ 3 Concert in SG was totally AWESOME.
I so regretted not going for 2nd day cos everything from the stage,lightings,special effects,props was AMAZING TTM !!!
& the artistes themselves did a wonderful job,whether its the dancing or singing or fanservicing or interaction.
They've become the hardworking artistes i look upon now :)

Will spazz about this beautiful perfect night next time when i'm free ^^

Glad i got to shake/touch/tap some of their hands xD
& i made sure which hand is reserved for him only xD

Right: Siwon X Siwon (twice,yes twice!! & the second time,he gave me that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ look then reached for my hand first HOMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥AM I GLAD I WAS PROB THE ONLY ONE IN THE ZONE HOLDING SIWON'S LIGHTSTICK SO PROUDLY WHILE MANY WERE HOLDING SJ TUBE LIGHTSTICKS...AHHHHHH)

Left: Shindong (sweet of him to flip his right hand over just to shake my left hand!!! hahaa mianhe i reserved the right hand for Siwon ♥!!) + KyuHyun (omg he's SO handsome IRL!!!) + LeeTeuk

A little sad that Donghae and Heechul seldom come over here,Donghae did came over and we thought he was gonna shake our hands,but he spot a male fan and reached out his hand to shake his instead !!! Ughhhh you tease !! T.T

But srsly i think Siwon more than makes up for it all♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

MR CHOI I ♥ YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A photo pf their backs when they came over to my zone~~~
My faves are all in there (since i like most of them now after the con) xD

More pics in fb,but i have'nt had the time to edit the other pics/vids yet so will prob do so maybe during the cny hols ^^ Make do for now~

HAPPY 25TH BIRTHDAY KIM JAEJOONG

2011-01-26T00:00:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday,my dear.
i love you becos of who you are.
You're like a blessing that came into my life.
Even if you're just an illustration,i want to keep you forever in my heart.

You're like a piece of art.
Hard to interpret at times,but yet is filled with emotions and curiosity.

It's amazing that 5 years has past since i known you.
5 years and i'm still here.
& you're still here,singing and coming into our daily lives.
I'm really thankful for that.
i want to stay with you,through the many years to come.
Even when you have your own family,i want to give my blessings to you.
i think the love and support has gone further that i've ever thought it could go.

It's not about liking you as an idol.
It's not about liking you becos you're handsome.
It's not about liking you becos you're my Mr dream guy.

It's about liking you becos your humble personality brought the like and the love to another level.
Now its about liking you becos i want to see you do well.
Becos i want to see you smile with happiness once again.
Becos you're a very special person who deserves all the love and support you get from those around you.

It is hard to put it in words.
& it is hard to express it when i see you.

But i hope that in the future,you'll be cherished by that special lucky someone.
& that you'll be able to unite with the ones you loved and missed so much.
That there might be one day where you can meet them and tell them all the untold stories.

For now,i wish you all the best.
i hope you'd be blessed in life.

Love,
Cwen~

PRAYING AND HOPING FOR ANSWERS..

2011-01-14T02:51:00.002+08:00

JUST TALK IT OUT LIKE A REAL MAN.
Solve all that unhappiness,questions and confusion and whatever grudges that you're bearing inside of you.
Keeping all of it in is not gonna do you any good.
All you're gonna do is feel hurt and that hurt not only affects you,but affects your loved ones,your fans and the friends.

Do not always think of a 1-sided way to problems.
See it as 2 sides,if there's a negative part,there will be a positive part.
That is how our lives goes on.
If you keep dwelling on the negative part,you'll never be able to see the positive part of it,even when its in front of you.

He makes his move,he has reached out the hand and whats left to do is for you to hold it and create the missing bond.
Avoiding is not a solution.
Passing words through another person does'nt solves your problem.
So really,whats the point?

Just say it face to face.
If you're angry,if you're mad,just spit it out.
It might make you feel better than bottling up your feelings.

Disrespecting...you do know that sometimes actions speaks louder than words right?
A disrespectful action...is'nt any better than a disrespectful word.

But i did'nt want to give up...i did'nt want to give up yet cos i love all 5 of you too much.
i did'nt want to think that a 8~10 years friendship could be broken down so easily...i'm not ready to say goodbye yet.
i'll continue waiting...till the day when official decisions are made,then i'll close a chapter and start on a new beginning...

He has did what he could do,he has made the moves and hoped for something to happen..i don't want to see him getting hurt or feeling down while putting a strong front for us.
i am his biased fan,so i will stand by him and believed in him more than anyone else.
I can't protect him from getting hurt,i can only hope and pray for him to find his answers someday soon.
Sad,but that is all i can do..

MESSAGE TO YA'ALL~

2011-01-14T02:28:00.002+08:00

Pissed at irresponsible people who could drag refunds to nearly a year.
i don't care if your supplier haven't refund you,thats your prob not mine.
If she did'nt refund you for almost a year already,then its your fault for not doing something about it.
Ugh darn online spreeing!

its not like i has'nt got scammed before.
i did and its by the stupid website called star-thots.
& yet funny thing is they're still operating and running their cheating business there.
What a shame.
someone should report them to CASE or smth and have them investigated for cheating people's money.
Sadly,i'm not the only victim.
There's been others who got scammed by shit-thots too,so i hoped people can be careful when doing online shopping.

Best to check up on the blogshop's background and customers' testimonials before purchasing things from them.
Though i'm still learning not to put so much trust in strangers and acting on the impulse.

Might be a good thing to stop shopping online for awhile.
Stops me from throwing away money :)

I STILL CHOOSE TO BELIEVE..SOMEDAY

2011-01-08T02:47:00.003+08:00

Is it wrong for one to express his disappointment and feelings in words?
Judge yourself before judging others.
Respect yourself then respect others.

Not everyone has to agree with your opinions,so don't go around calling horrible names when you are not in their shoes.

There are not many times when one can spill out his emotions,but is it wrong for one to spill it all out after taking it in for so long?
Others may think its better to keep it silent,others may choose to speak it out.
People have different ways of expressing themselves,so just let them be instead of creating even more chaos and news for the media to feed upon.

You've choosen to take this path and we'll walk along with you.
I don't care what other irrelevant people think cos i believe in only the 5 of you.
What has'nt been said,i will not choose to believe.
Until the day when one makes it clear,will i make a stand.

But why is it so hard to read the news and watch the videos nowadays without wanting to cry?
The feelings are so mixed and confused.
But i'm keeping my belief that all is not over till it's said and dealed with officially.
I still choose to believe...that someday.

HAPPY 2011

2010-12-31T21:30:00.002+08:00

NEW YEAR RESOLUTION?

This year i've made quite a few new yr resolutions and none really accomplished.
So i've decided to keep it simple and made any resolutions that is more realistic and short.

1. Fulfill the dream and fly to Taiwan in April and hopefully attend SMT concert to cheer for Uknow and Minnie and Sica ^^

2. Keep on supporting TVXQ / JYJ / HoMin no matter what people said and to see JJ at least once in 2011.

There,2 simple resolutions which are easy to keep and work on.
Hopefully.

Happy 2011 ~

SORRY & THANK U

2010-12-28T02:52:00.003+08:00

Sometimes there are some things that i did that hurt you,i'm sorry.
Sometimes i cannot control my emotions.
it was'nt easy to express myself,my thoughts,mianhe.
Sorry & thank you for everything..

& just becos i thought this photo suited my feelings right now..

2010-12-26T08:30:00.002+08:00

Sick :(

But HAPPY 7TH ANNIVERSARY,MY TVXQ ~

The TVXQ i loved all along has always been the 5 members :)
we can't stop the decisions,but we can't take away their memories ^^
You guys will be my first & only love ^^

JJ Intermodulation photobook ^^

Am i glad i got this,even though the price is really hefty cos of the darn shipping fees T.T
Shall take it as a Xmas present/New year present for myself :')

Sooooooooo many yummy but personal photos !
Really shows a side of JJ that i've never seen before.
Something more........manly ^^
But there's also the usual sweet dorky photos.

Can't wait to get it ^^~

HAPPY BDAY KIM JUNSU + MORE SPAZZ

2010-12-16T20:48:00.001+08:00

Ughhhhhhhh just had a call with the bank and i have to wait 3 more days before i get back the 800bucks and make an order for JJ's photobook T.T
Ughhh darn server hang ups ):

Anw,HAPPY 25TH BIRTHDAY KIM JUNSUUUUUUUUUUUUU~
A little late,but better than never.
Not in the mood to do pics spam atm,so i will just cope the twitter pic of sexySu :D

My fave kitten from his kitty family.
Leo~~~
the one with the tiny ears and big doed eyes that reminded me so much of Puss in boots from the movie "Shrek" (well,the chubbier ver)

This is kinda late,but they just released the group photos awhile back.
Depressing as always.LOL.
Same as the Zuno group pic when half my face was covered,but i did'nt really notice it cos i was still getting all crazy excited at the fact that i'm standing next to him,or in this case,i'd just saw their faces up close.
The closest i've ever been to see them,really.
Being in the same room and breathing the same air and being the first few to run in means i got to at least stand at the back :D

Which is'nt always a good thing cos my face got half-covered again.
& the photo session was kinda unfair cos in the early group pics,they obviously took better photographs and it was darn upclose without having to squeeze yourself with 20 other fans.
Or the bodyguards/managers san ):

Hopefully there'll be a 2nd chance....someday.

Anw,the boys were covered with loads of bb cream or foundation and mannnn they look like total wax figurines.
Gaddddd perfect.

JaeSu had their adorable poses as always while Yoochun...............is stoning.
LOL.
Wonder if he's just tired or he just saw a pretty fan xD
i don't quite remb their expressions throughout the whole photo sess cos i was also stoning quite a bit.
But i guess the most unglam part was,we had to runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn in front of them to get to them -.-
i remb i got so self-concious cos JYJ was looking at us all streaming in,in groups of about 6.
& thinking i had to run in front of JJ,i started worrying if my face looked fat when i'm running,thus i held my head abit down until i reaches him :DD
Can't forget that unforgettable night.
We'll meet again next year,most likely ^^V
& Minnie and Yunnie too....when will i get to see those 2 again!!

This marks the end of the 3 showcases trip & the beginning of more to come ^^~

GO AWAY.

2010-12-13T02:19:00.002+08:00

No updates for soooooo long...oh well,life has been tiring and wearing me out lately.
i used to be able to sleep at 4/5am and still get up in the morning to go to work and i won't feel tried,a little sleepy yes,but not tired.

But now i can't.
if i goes to sleep every day at that hour,i would get headaches or i would not be able to get up for work and my temper would be really bad ):

Maybe its becos work has been wearing me out.
and the lack of TVXQ made life seemed a little more empty than it used to be..

That person i dislike is gonna start work with me starting from this week.
fml.
why does she returns when she complained so much previously and made it sound like she'd never want to return?wth?

All she does is backstabs and carries her 2 sided face around,saying words that carries another meaning,like that phrase: 话中带刺.
Just say whatever you want to say instead of using words to cover it up cos i don't care any more.
Since you're recommended to come over here to man the shop by the boss,then good luck and do a good job with it cos i'm not gonna teach you a thing about the store.
& don't ask me cos once the store is passed over to you,it is none of my business whether you have a prob with the things there.

Last thing i want is to see your face or hear your horrible voice again.
Having to get stuck in the same store as you makes me dread that horrible day.
Have fun manning the shop.
its all yours now and whether the sales is good or bad,you're the one in charge so it shall be none of my concern once you take over :)

A LITTLE TRIP+JYJ UPDATE

2010-11-16T03:21:00.004+08:00

Hope i can go taiwan in April now D: !!!
since SMT is in April...i wanna go T.T
Miss HoMin bbs so much and misses Shinee too T.T
Miss Yunnie's big warm smile,Minnie's dedicated eye contacts,Shinee's cuteness overload and addictive songs and i wanna see the pretty Jung Jessica~
i hope they sing the up to date songs though.
i really wanna hear and see the dance of Lucifer and Hoot D:!!

Posting a few outdated pics..

My hotel view from KL ^^
We did'nt really stayed in the same hotel as them,but they did'nt really stayed in any hotels anyway.
Their luggages stayed with us though D:
& thank god i decided to stay at Crown Princess hotel cus the photo session was decided to be held there at the very last min,so we actually had the time to buy our Macs lunch/dinner back and bathe and touch up on the makeup and change into cleaner outfits since the outfit we wore to the showcase was abit damped with sweat T.T
But we also saw a few fans who had to do a last min booking with the hotel esp those who did'nt plan to stay overnight and they had to cancel their night flights ):
The sun in Msia is HOT.
While waiting outside the showcase venue,i was burning under the hot sun,though thankfully i had the JJ fan i bought from bkk to use T^T

& the area we were at had alot of japanese fans and the guy who sat next to me was actually a japanese guy who came with his gf to watch JYJ.
Its soooooooooo cute and sweet of him to accompany her all the way to msia just to see JYJ !
& the way he read the fan chants from the list was so cute. "Xiah Junsu fighting~" xD
Anw getting off topic,maybe i'll do a more detailed fan acc next time ^^;

Our VIP tix...H is the 8th row and it is actually pretty near :DDD!!
During the showcase,i did'nt dare to stand but when i saw most of the fans behind me were standing and holding on to their cameras,i decided to squat-stand,squat a little and stand again and that was prob the smartest decision i've made cos not a single fan was standing in the front rows at all,so if they'd looked over at us,i know they'd see me :DDD

& my seat happens to be more to Junsu's side (finally!) cos the previous 2 showcases was always at YC's sides and quite far from the stage.
i totally enjoyed myself at the KL showcase,best showcase out of the 3 ever.
Cos you can see the 3 of them looking much more energentic and happy on stage for idk what reasons.LOL.
Su looked over a few times and flashed that mega-watt smileee and i'm officially a JaeSu fan as well :DD
JJ just flashes his shy smile whenever we screamed for him...happy to see that.

For the KL showcase,i was more JaeSu focused,while for the SG showcase,it was totally Chun-focused!
The best part for the SG showcase was during the last encore song-Empty,when Chunnie shouts for everyone to jump and sing "Let It Go" and we just rannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn all the way forward like crazy fangirls xDD
Another smart decision that was totally worth it cos the guards were actually pretty OK and did'nt forced us to go back to our seats,but they could'nt stop us anyway since there were MANY who has found their way to the front xD

& there i was,standing directly right in front of Park Yoochun..............could've died T.T
The hair reminded me of Jang Geun Suk,totally charming and handsome !~
& i looked up and suddenly became a little embarrassed and shy and dreamy cos i had 1 hand with a Junsu dolphin lightstick(which i borrowed from my friend cos all my lightsticks died one meT.T) and the other i was trying to hold up my bag and my binos -.-;;

Such an embarrassing sight T.T
But when i ran forward,i did'nt really care cos i just wants to see them.Then when i realised Yoochun was looking at us,everything fell back to earth,but i could'nt throw the binos and lightstick into my bag cos i was squeezed with fans T.T
He seems to have that eye smile in which its trying to say he wants to laugh and shake his head at us but could'nt cos he was singing -.-

i wanted to make my way to the center/left side when i realised that JJ would be at those sides more often during the last song,but i could'nt move with so many fans pushing from the back and the guard in front of me ):
So in the end i just gave up and stared at Chunnie,taking in all that handsome-ness.
Then i turned and waved my Su lightstick at JJ and Su's sides but i think only Su noticed since i was holding up his lightstick.LOL.

Ooops.i think i am getting carried away again.If i ever make a fan account,its gonna be really long with lots of spazzing and i'd never know when i can finish writing -.-

Taken at BKK,the night before the actual showcase.
The press con which made me give up on our shopping idea,but we still managed to squeeze in some crazy shopping from 7pm to 9 or 10pm plus...we did'nt even care about the fact that it may be dangerous to be out there on the streets so late cos we can't possibly leave BKK without shopping !!!
Hope the next time i go there,its for a vacation cos its such an ideal place to do some serious shopping and that needed tons of time!

At the press con,we were standing on some seating thing and it was at the side of the stage.Not that far and we get a pretty good clear view though it might be abit dangerous to be standing there.
Su was blocked by the host most of the time,but we saw JaeChun whenever they turned to look at the host.
i thought there was more YooSu's fans at my side since i did'nt see any JJ fans,but mannnnn when JJ turns every single time,all the girls here screammmmmmmmmmmmmed.
LOL.It was so funny to the point that Chunnie noticed it as well and chuckled at the shy looking JJ.
Love the thai fans.haha they never fails to amaze me.
Then when JJ turned again,somebody shouted YoooonJaeee and i joined in as well and most of us started chanting YoonJae and he heard it and looked down and smile in that kind of awkward-shy smile.

Funny how he gets shouted "YoonJae" in every single showcase so far,even during the NYC secret show.
& he always had that same reaction after hearing it.
Wonder what he was thinking....
i think he's prob the only male singer who gets linked to his male member all over the world.
i've never seen another artiste who gets so linked with a male-male couple everywhere he went,but boy YunJae fans are international,or universal ^^

Which makes me miss YunJae...i wonder how it'd be if Yunnie was still by his side.
How Yunnie and Jae would react when they shouted YoonJae at them...
i've only seen it once and at that time,JJ started getting himself away from Yoonho,but Yoonho still found his way to JJ and gave him a towel....*^^*
I want to see more of that,after all their friendship has been the longest so far...almost 10 years now..*sighs*

End of spazz..off to watch Ghost Whisperer now.
Had such a terrible nightmare early in the morning...don't think i can sleep..what if i can't wake myself from the nightmare?
Wish i'd something that can knock me out so that i can fall into a deep sleep with no worries...

JJ+OH YUN JAE+JIJI

2010-11-08T19:14:00.002+08:00

♥ Oh Yun Jae :D

Yunnie's name in the Poseidon drama is just pure ♥
Tsktsk,Oh,YunJae ♥♥♥♥♥
Am so dying to watch the drama now,but i think i'll laugh my head off everytime someone shouts out his name "OH YUN JAE !" in that kind of commando-tone.
it makes it sound like YunJae were caught doing something naughty.hahahaha.

Stalking twitter every night.
Always looking forward to his good nights ^^;
JiJi just seems to get bigger and bigger in his twit-pics.

Scary JiJi~~~~hahaha.
he scratched JJ's hand when JJ tried to put him on the treadmill to do some exercise after thinking JiJi seemed to be getting chubbier -_______-;;
i don't think JiJi's getting chubbier,but he's prob growing into a cat.
Hopefully,he learns how to treat his master right.
Poor JJ,first Vik totally ignores his prescence and now he has to live with a violent kitty.haha.

MY PRECIOUS JJ

2010-10-26T02:49:00.003+08:00

They're sooooooooo silly on twitter xDD
Junsu,the silly epic fail ♥
JaeJung,the messages and JiJi pics he kept posting ♥-
Totally am jealous of JiJi.
& JiJi's a lucky male xD
It looks so quiet though and Jae's always posting up pics of him sleeping.haha.
BB is going to sleep now,so should I.
Think i'm gonna be up all night every day until he tweets his good night before i can fall asleep as well -.-
Makes me happier everyday,looking forward to read his tweets.
He's so so so precious,JJ ♥

JAEJOONG'S TWITTER

2010-10-23T03:17:00.003+08:00

Baby's on twitter right now,just tweeted a min ago!!
and he's not sleeping :/
i feel so sad for him,hope he can cheer up soon....
Shall continue tweeting to him ^^;;

But he's typing in romanised japanese which i can't use google to translate and i can't understand either !!!
Gomenaisai...why'd he said sorry?
Wished he can twitt in english...or reply to his fans...i think i'd die if he ever tweets back to me ;_;

yay Twitter's gonna be my new fave site to go to every time i switch on my lappy xD

The past week has been fun,tiring and so so so memorable...
He mouthed the word "Baiii".....................but i don't wanna say good bye.
Ahhhh can't wait for the photo to be out....i hope i can see my face xDDD

i hope i blocked Chunnie's bodyguard's face.LOL.
That guy tricked me!!!
But he said it in such a sweet nice and friendly tone that i actually listened to him obediently -.-;;
Ughhhhh i did'nt get to stand near where Jae was ):

But but but it was all worth it.
Those sucky reports on them can give up on trying to destroy their reputations cos they are'nt like what those nosy reporters said or described.
i believed in them and what i saw ^^

JJ really likes it when fans cheers for him...he enjoyed the cheers and i'm glad to see him looking happy and also slightly shy from receiving all those fangirling shouts...tsk tsk the shy part reminded me of Minnie too..

My fave showcase was the Malaysia one.
Though many things did not turned out as planned and the weather was freaking hot,but that showcase was the most worth and i LOVE LOVE LOVE every moment of it.

Just don't say baiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii again,bb.

hope he can sleep early tonight...don't think too much ):

GO AWAY..

2010-10-13T23:33:00.002+08:00

Go away and stop coming between us,again & again (ò_ó)

I JUST WANTS TO SEE THEM,JUST ONCE AFTER A LONG TIME.
i haven't seen Changmin.
Haven't seen Yunho.
Haven't seen Junsu.
Haven't seen Yuchun.
Haven't seen JeJung.

i thought,maybe,maybe this time round i can see at least 3 of them.
Though my heart aches everytime i think how its going to be 3 on stage and that my Yunnie and Minnie won't be there.
Though i was a little anxious and thought about how empty the stage would felt without the 2 of them.
The longing to see HoMin so so much......
the hopes of seeing JYJ..

Please don't take them away..just leave them alone and do what you can to advance HoMin's careers.

My snow prince...

GOOD BYE SPORE~

2010-10-13T07:47:00.002+08:00

Good bye Spore (^-^)/~
Hello BKK :DDD

but........... i have'nt pack yet.
Feels like i'm going on a crazy stalking mission,but i'm too old to want to stalk anymore ^^;
Just bears the hopes of seeing them.

SENSELESS FUCKED UP COMPANY

2010-10-09T04:56:00.002+08:00

i'm getting really REALLY pissed off by the stupid agency.
if it was'nt for them,i would'nt even brother to care about this agency at all.

Rude and blunt and unprofessional replies,last minute decisions and lame excuses.
Its not the first time,so it was'nt totally unexpected.
But really,wtf?
We bloody rushed down just to get hold of the tix cos they were saying if we don't get the tix by today,the tix will be resold.
Then now they came up with such a terrific last min decision to add more seats and even start a moshpit zone AND expect everyone to understand and be happy for the news.
HAHA.

Then when fans complained,they gave their rude and senseless replies by saying that all these was a LAST min decision,not something they could help with and gets more pissy when more fans complained.

So they can make these sort of LAST min decisions and want us to understand that its not their fault,so can we make a LAST min decision to change our tix for the moshpit?
The answer is no.

WHAT A JOKE.

You don't go around being arrogant and wants everyone to respect and accept your bloody stupid last min idea when YOU yourself could'nt accept others' last min decision to change their tix.
At least give a sincere apology to those who actually made the effort to rush down and pick their disappointing lousy seats only to switch on their computers and read about the shitty decision.

Stop playing like you're the party who holds the biggest rights to amend anything you want and trick our feelings.
Congrats for bringing your unprofessionalism and airhead-ness to a higher level.

Next time though,i hope another company manages to bring them in so we won't have to keep getting stucked with this lousy company and get bombed with so many "oh last min decisions".

Even if no one brings them in,i'd rather fly overseas to watch them.
At least overseas companies are understanding and don't come up with such AWESOME LAST MIN DECISION and acts all fucking arrogant and expect everyone to respect their shitty attitude.

I wonder if i should feel sorry for my 3 bbs.
They may not know about what is going on,but for them to actually have to meet such people who'd prob act all nice and kind and diabetes sweet to them,i srsly feels effed out.

i'm so going to burn that membership card and unlike them when the event is over.

Anw,my 3 bbs,i am still looking forward to see you ♥
Even if the tix in bkk and sg sucked,i shall just bring the binos and squint my eyes for a glimpse.
Hope the KL one will be even better.
Photo and auto sess...............................i need to give my 2nd "saranghaminda" to him.hahaha♥
Jae fighting♥ i'm just gonna look forward to see you,to hear you,near or far.

Katana~baby !

SEEING MY BB,ONCE AGAIN♥

2010-10-02T03:26:00.002+08:00

Can this get any better?

If i get to see them for 3 straight days,it would be total heaven *-*
though honestly i wished they'd cfm SG first before we started planning to go BKK :/
i'm gonna end up broke,srsly broke ;_;
Still wondering if i should go for the BKK one....buts its their first asia stop!! D:

& the thought of being in the same photo as JYJ,or even being NEAR AND UPCLOSE WITH BB JAE♥♥♥♥♥♥♥...................................OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG (屮ﾟДﾟ)屮

TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE........it all felt like a dream....i think i would have to slap myself hard across the cheeks when i'm there myself just to make sure all this is happening for real O.O

Hope i can stand next/in front/near or even behind Jae during the photos session...i don't care where i have to stand,as long as its near him :DDDD
But i think i'd die or melt into a puddle if i ever had a close eye contact with him...i mean his eyes are his best features !
His eyes are the one that mesmerizes everyone and to think about staring straight into them...GAWD♥
i hope i can control my heart beat.
i hope i won't tremble.
i hope i won't get stuck for words.
i hope i can stop staring at him.
i hope i won't have to suppress a fangirly giggle fit or appear like a crazy fangirl to him.
GOT.TO.CONTROL.MYSELF.

& to be able to shake his hands.......................ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i need to start caring for my nails and pamper them since BB loves looking at girls' hands ;_;
i don't think i want to shake anyone's hands after shaking BB's though,but that would seem rude.
Maybe i should reserve the left hand for BB and the right hand for YooSu -.-;
Gotta do fansigns,planning,etc etc............so much to do/plan and no money/time at all );

LESS THAN 2 WEEKS !
BB♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
please don't make me cry..4 years 4 months,its also been 1 year 4 months since i last saw him ;)♥

BB has a new kitten,a new small grey kitten ♥ i love animal-person/cat-person ♥♥ xD

SEE U SOON,JEJUNG

2010-09-23T02:04:00.004+08:00

BB in Ayumi's MV................what a perfect bf ;_;

The more Omma he's becoming,the more i like ;D

Miss looking at your beautiful pale skin and those full of deep emotions eyes..

................................

Hope i'll get a chance to do such a crazy thing..for once in my life :)
if it all works out,it would be like a whirlwind,tired but so much excitement and fun ^^;

15Oct: BKK
16Oct: KL

Just please don't change the dates!
i've never followed them to 2 countries before,the thought of the crazy trip makes me excited xD
Who knows we might bump into them at BKK airport on our way to KL to see them xD
~~i've given up the hopes of being on the same flight since i've checked business class suit and its too exp for us and its only a 1-way ticket !!!~~

& it'll be the first time i'll be seeing him after so long....i don't care about the shopping in bkk since i doubt i can travel anywhere without feeling safe or getting lost,though it'd be such a waste to go there and not do shopping D:

But i'll be darn broke in the month of Oct anyway with having to give red packet to a friend's wedding and having to buy presents for 2 birthday friends and then here comes the BKK>KL>SG trip...................................................
i feel so unprepared and broke ;________________;
BUT I MUST SEE HIM D:
oh gee baby,i miss you so so so much.

Even if its just the 2 of you,even if its missing those 2 great guys,i'm keeping faith in all the decisions you've made.

Its sad that now JYJ's japanese activites are stopped,but i believe in the decision they made,just keep faith in what they choose.
Instead of saying repeatdly that you LOVE them,that you CARED for them,but still blaming them on their "wrong" decision.
Wrong?Who decides whether their decision is right or wrong?
Thats not what love is about,you don't understand them,you did'nt trust their decision,how is that even LOVE?

its hurts and upsets us even more with words from you,so i wish you'd stop posting such messages that brings nothing more than upset and anger.

i'm glad they can start their international/asia activities soon.
Please,no one stands in their way.
Please don't hurt them anymore than they're hurt.
We just wants a happy JYJ.
I just wants a happy JaeJoong,the same old him when he was with his members.

imma keep supporting you ^^
Till we meet again...............real soon :DD

SEEING U ONCE AGAIN

2010-09-13T03:05:00.002+08:00

Finally,its been 1 year & 3 months since i last saw you.
i'm glad i'll be seeing you again,bb.
In a matter of just a month's time,hopefully.
i'm excited,i hope it all goes smoothly as my head has planned.
Need to start getting back into shape and i only have a month's time ;_;
i don't want him to see a fat me obviously ;_;
Right now,i'm just doing what i think is right,going along with my feelings and guts and preparing for that day again.
The day that i thought would never come.
Guess nothing matters more for now.

The excitement and the thought makes me forget all the shit that's been going down lately.
It def lifts up my mood,esp when i'm feeling pissed and down.
Thats what they always do.

i'm sad that i won't be able to see Big Bang on the stage though ): !
Darn....my Taeyang,GD and TOP !!!
Oh well,i'd rather save up for a full length BB concert or Dream concert in korea :) !
Besides,seeing them perform 2 or 3 songs is just way too short for me.
& now they're including yet another band,i wonder how short will each band get to perform now srsly -.-

& i got to save for SMT as well,i need to see my HoMin oppas more than ever ^^~

Music bought us all back together again.
i'm gonna cherish this moment more than i've ever did.
Just that little hope of seeing your face once again,hearing that familiar husky warm voice,that beautiful pale skin and innocent big eyes,i am proud to be a Cassiopeia.
& i will only be a Cassiopeia...

i think Yunnie oppa kinda needs some Jae-love right now...he's been caught staring at "YoonJae" signboards again xD
tsktsk that man never forgets who's his "wifey" :) !

HURT

2010-09-09T01:23:00.002+08:00

HURT

You don't even know what they went through.
What we all saw,what we all heard,did you?

That was just heart breaking,senseless,please don't bring any more hurt,not to the ones i loved.

JYJ SPAZZ + FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE

2010-09-06T01:57:00.003+08:00

Shall give up on the Kpop concert for bb :)
JYJ might be coming over here,well actually they're touring to 10 asia countries and they have'nt reveal which countries yet,but the chances of them coming here is pretty good anyway :)

Esp with what warner previously posted on their fb....i really hope my baby can come here,esp after missing him for 1 and a half years already.

i know he's bound to not like it here though since he hates hot weathers xD
BB,just don't come here decked in winter clothings thinking that it snows here pls ^^;;

& i need to work on my plan to change before he sees me in the terrible fat shape that i am in,which i still could'nt control from eating.......he's better at dieting than me ;_;

Well,i don't care if they comes here or not,i am already planning to fly with them to other asia countries if my finanicial and work allows me to :) !
But i can prob only goes to Thailand or Taiwan though.........oh wait,there's MSIA :DDDDD!!
Nearly forgot about the country nearest to me :)
Hope they travel to these 3 countires so that it makes "fangirling" all the more easier.haha.
At least its places i can afford to fly to and watch over them.

Korean songs,eng songs,jap songs,whatever songs you're singing,i will listen to it with all my heart and treasure the memories and sight of you even more.

i am so glad you are bringing your music back again,bb.
Doing the thing that you've loved all along.
Thats great,i hope all will work out well for you ^^

though if my friend has got really good cat 1 seats for the kpop con,i might be tempted to buy xD
After all,i has'nt ever seen BigBang before and i wants to see them so bad ;_;
Esp Taeyang,T.O.P and GD :D

i'm saving for possibly SMT here as well and maybe the SuJu con.
But i'm pretty darn broke if i were to go to all these concerts and i need to save up to fly all over for JYJ....urgh why kpop is dominating all over sg!

KPOP CONCERT ARTISTES + JAE SPAZZ

2010-08-29T03:09:00.003+08:00

i am trying to control my excitement till 23Oct :3
Few days ago,i read about BB & SNSD & SHINee coming here for the KPOP night concert :DDD

OMFG,for real they are COMING
& just a few days ago i was discussing this with my college and we were like no no,BB would be too busy to come for this concert,with their solo activities and japan/korea releases and SNSD will prob be busy with their japan debut,they most likely would'nt come..
Though i have heard rumours about SHINee possibly coming.

Oh wheeeeeeee all my fave bands whom i prob never thought i would see in the same stage are all coming here :D
i've never been to any of their concerts before and the last i've seen SHINee and SNSD was already nearly 2 years ago back at SMT.
& at that time i did'nt even notice much of them aside from being wow-ed by Jong hyun,Key and Taeyeonnie.

This makes me all excited.
i don't care i muz get the tix and attend the con

i wanted to get the mosh pit zone where it'd be more high and fun,but thinking about it,i don't wanna get squash by the crazy fanboys out there.
i've seen how scary the fanboys here are during the YOG event when 4minute appear and..........let's just say i'm surprised at how they can behave like the fangirls are.LOL.
But fanboys are bigger in build and i know i don't wanna be fighting with them to see the SNSD girls.
i would lose,for sure xD

& i don't wanna get my views blocked by their big "lollipops" props that i could'nt even see my fave girls..............so i'm considering getting the 2nd best zone.

BUT I WANNA SEE MY BB UPCLOSE ):
i wanna see TOP,Taeyang and GD

i want to get carried away by GD's enthusiasm and TOP's deep sexy voice and Taeyang's charming cool smile :3
& i also wanna spazz at how cute Taeyeon and Sica are and how stunning Yuri looks...
& i wanna see Taemin dance and Jonghyun enjoying his attention from girls xD

though there are also other bands coming like ft (yay hongkiiiiii),infinite and dna,but having bb,snsd and shinee for me is more than enough :)

Soooooooooooooooo idk what zones to choose yet.
But my friend does'nt wants to pay more than 200bucks for them..........arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh so fustrating.
i wish this concert has seating zones or smth that is close to the stage but not too expensive...somethin like VIP zones or the kind of stage Zuno's fanmeet was held.
Where we can all just sit and enjoy the show and we won't have to fight with no fanboys or big props/display boards blockin' our views.

Gotta start saving saving saving.................!!

Anw,there is'nt much updates on my 4 year old fave bbs....
& though i seldom posts stalking pics,but seeing how each of them looks hotter in those airport pics makes me gushes..

Yunnie,as man as ever in the sunglasses :3

Jae bb sure makes casual dressing looks so hot.........
Just a normal white top and light blue jeans and he looks sooooooo good in them D:
Hooray,bb's growing his long hair again ^^V
& he would be in a upcoming korean drama...........omg marine boy Jae would look so sexyyyyyyyyyyyy.Just plz take care of your health and no love scenes that would make me die from the mushiness or leave me wishing i was that girl ;D

Been 1 year and 2 months since i last saw you...............wonder when i'll get to see you again.
i hope its not long,my YoonJae.

JOB RANTS+MINNIE IN FRAU

2010-08-12T01:28:00.003+08:00

After one is gone,another comes along.
i don't work here to have to deal with your arrogance.
We're all working for the company,so what rights have you have to talk to me in such a rude bitchy way?
i has'nt offend you and idk who stepped on your toes,but go snap at yourself in the mirror instead of letting off your gas in my ears.

if you think you can handle the store better,go ahead and be my guest.
i would love to see your show.

i don't give a damm with what you said,so stop using your authority voice just because you think you have a backer to back you.
At the end of the day,you're still just a worker for the company.

& plz,the both of you go and solve your communication gaps problem.
i hate it when one said this and the other said that.
Wtf?Are you guys just plain indecisive or what?
& yet still going around asking me why is it this way when the other was the one who told me to do it this way.
Its not my fault that you both have communcation probs,so don't drag me into this and push the fault to me.

MAKE UP YOUR MINDS FOR GOD'S SAKE.

Tell me what the BOTH of you really wants and stop changing decisions without talking to the other.
Go solve your own prob before blaming innocent people.
You expected us to do a good job when you have internal probs?-.-

i just wanted to do a simple nice job,do my part and cooperate well with everyone.
But this is turning out to be more of a nightmare than anythin else.

Anw,i want to get Frau mag!
Cos Minnie looks very Minnie in the shoots...
Oh Minnie Minnie,i miss you.
i really wants to fly to attend SMT just to see you and Ho...if my financials allows me to ;_;

RANDOM SPAZZ + UPDATES

2010-08-05T02:34:00.002+08:00

My blog is dead............................................ ):
Has'nt had much things to blog about..if it was last year,i probably would have been bloggin' about my plans to attend SMT or DBSK concerts...has'nt attended concerts for a long time!!
Zuno's showcase does not count since it was more like a mini showcase than a full length concert xD

i think i has'nt blog about the showcase or meeting Zuno in person...maybe i'll do a fan account in Sept when i'm not so busy :)
But............ah all i can say is i had embarassing moments in front of Zuno *omg throwing my own face in front of my BB's bff's brother -dies-* and of cos good moments to remb by......
& seeing Junsu again was just simply....he's so handsome!
Like you can tell he does'nt wants to outshine his brother since this was'nt his showcase and you can tell he wanted to focus on singing his best for us still.
& i hate to say this,but i auto-focus on his butt.........................................
Not that i wanted to,but he was on a high stage and i was sitting at a place where i can watch the whole show peacefully,so naturally i started focusing on his whole body and somehow it went from the head,face,legs and butt.
& i LOL-ed cos his butt is def something to be envious of,it totally outshines the female host and Zuno's xD
Anw,i'll leave the spazzing and fan acc for later entries^^.

Been listening to lots of girls ballads and i love girls ballads :3
Thought i'd never fall in love with girls' songs..but now i'm in love with them.
Esp G.NA's I'll back off so you can live better,SNSD's Star Star Star and After School's because of you.
Can't relate to any of them but i love the vocals and emotions in these songs.
It started off when i heard AS's Because of you and i started to like female ballads.
Korean songs are still the best xD

Lately,i've been hearing "do you miss me" from guys at work....the words carry not much meaning..idk but somehow it made me feel very uncomfortable after hearing it many times.
My hairs are standing if i ever have to hear these words again.
Even if its just a joking thing or just a normal comment,but the words sounds very mushy and..abit disgusting.
& i'm not the mushymushy type,even with close friends..though i may be different if it had been any of the DBSK boys..but thats a natural bias xD
Thus,i just simply ignore the comments becos i dunno how to respond to it & i don't think i need to respond to it.
But then it started to bug me afterwards..so annoying !
Please stop asking me that ewweww question ;_; it scares me & annoys me!

Anw Anw,i diy-ed a nail art i saw on yt and i think it looks great.
Got the "ingredients" at daiso xD
Shall set off to find more glitter next time for my nails :D
& make them look all bling-bling~~~

Glam blue vs plain pink glitter..i still like the bling-er one more ^^

Can't wait for "ISWAK" korean ver to air!
Seeing Hyun Joong's pics made me excited alrdy!
Man,he reminds me so much of Yamapi in the photos.
Maybe a more matured version?LOL.
i wonder if Jae introduces them to each other before.. :3

Awwws,BB,omma refused to let you buy those pretty boots?
Let noonas and dongsaengs buy for you instead :DD

Maji de?!

Gonna be busy after today with work since my college will be on vacation and the stress will be on me to take care of the shop...urgh i want to quit already,i don't want to be stress till i get some kind of illness ):

PERSONAL THOUGHTS + JAE

2010-07-31T02:28:00.002+08:00

BB,it makes me happy to see you looking so bright and cheerful..
Your happiness is my heaven.
i know that line sounds cheesy,but you're always the light in my life and nobody can cheer me up on a bad day like you can.
& nothing can upsets me more than knowing i won't be able to see you on stage for a year or more...i've waited for 2 years before,but this time,its so hard to pass the time.
You're like my pillar of support and i really wants to be the same to you,to show you that you still have fans who is willing to wait for you,who loves you regardless what happens,who is contended just seeing your bright smile.
Please stay happy,no matter what happens,i hope you can keep a positive outlook on life^^

These past days i just wanted to watch something that can make me bawl and cry out all the agony bottled inside,how life just does'nt seems to be right.
How i had to deal with certain type of people in life whom i've never encountered before,how i have seemed to grew angrier and easily annoyed these days,how i have to deal with a certain bitch backstabber who only knows how to shoot words with her mouth and DENIED it with her bloody thick face.

i've never encountered such a bitch before.....EVER.
It just makes the real life even more scarier and unhappy than i've expected.
i hate these kind of people,i don't know why i've to meet them,i don't know why can't people behave more adult like and stop these kind of childish shit that makes me feel like i'm working in a competitive place and thats not what i wanted.
i missed the old days where we work like a big family,where there's always the senior staffs whom i respected and learned so much from,where we all had fun,shared the laughter and the tears.
But back in reality,none of that will happen again..
There are many times i wish to give up,whats a few hundred bucks...if i'm suffering so much stress,anger,unhappiness...

When i returned back home late and my mom's always waiting for me and seeing her waiting though it was already 11pm+ and she has work tml...thats not what i want to see her.....& i barely had any time to see her everyday..i hate that,i really do..hate that i'm just simply useless.

Wish i can go for a holiday,far away and find back the real me which i've subconciously lost ever since i started this job.
i hate the way i've become.
God,pls help me find back the real me.

I MISS U + NAMIE

2010-07-24T03:47:00.003+08:00

You can't imagine how much i miss you.
i know its kinda silly..but no matter how high you reached,you always makes us feel close to you again.
If everything can replay once again,i wish to return back to 27 and 28June..those were the times our hearts connect as one.
The time where you as a group brought me back down to earth with you,knowing you led an ordinary life like any of us.
Minnie,Yunnie,Jae-gi..

Namie Amuro

Namie is sooooooooooooo hot
What beautiful legs *_*!

RANTS + JYJ DOME GOODS

2010-07-15T04:50:00.002+08:00

Stop being a liar and a backstabber and maybe others will stop talking behind your back.
i am glad i won't be seeing you ever again,it was a nightmare to have known you.
All those dramas you created single handily,all those criticisms and remarks you've directed,all those contradicting words you've spoken which amuses me.
No wonder everyone complains about you to me.
No wonder he said all those bad things about you which i did'nt believe in at first,but am glad you proven me wrong or else it'd had been an even bigger nightmare to know you longer.

i wanted so much to delete you off,on fb,on my phonelist,on msn.
Its better if we don't ever meet again,speak again.That would gladly be the end of this horrible nightmare.

Anw,SPAIN won (/^^)/ ~~~
& Torres played a part in passing the ball during the goal.
But i feel so bad for him after seeing him lying on the grass just barely 10mins he was on the field cos he'd pulled his old injury and could'nt stand up ;_;
Hope he recovers soon.
No wonder the coach did'nt want to put him out to play for too long.
i'm so thankful to the coach now *^^*

Anw,i love the JYJ Dome bracelet ^^
Love the fact that the shiny parts are not made of crystals that can easily dropped off,but its made of silver glitter!

It shines just as nice as the fake diamonds that are often used in earrings/bracelets.

& my bb's shirt...the picture is so big and nice and of cos,handsome~~~~~~!!!

Long gone are the days of fringless days....

My baybeh.....!

Ugfff i hate working more and more seriously !

DBSK MEME

2010-07-10T04:28:00.002+08:00

World cup is ending soon...i'm kinda sad about that though ):
Gotta wait another 4 years for one again ):

Went to pick up my JYJ Dome concert goodies today ♥ !
The pewter bracelet/strap is just simply gorgeous :3
i'm glad i picked the pewter one.
& the poster is big,but its matte :/
Will post up pics another time after i take them ^^

Decided to do a meme just for funnnnnn.

♥Top 3 Fave DBSK Korean Songs♥

1. Rising Sun
2. Miduhyo / Whatever They Say (can't pick a fave)
3. "O" JBH

♥Top 3 Fave DBSK Jap Songs♥

1. Forever Love / Purple Line (tied~)
2. Proud
3. Wasurenaide

♥Top 3 Least Fave DBSK Korean Songs♥

1. Thousand Year Love Song (though that was only the ost for Legend)
2. Paradise
3. Phantom

this was really hard to choose...i love all their korean songs,esp the first 3 albums,whether its a pop song or ballads,their voices just amazes me in each and every song.

♥Top 3 Least Fave DBSK Jap Songs♥

1. Share The World
2. We Are
3. Doushite (cos i think its over-rated.i mean,they have a lot of great jap songs but yet this was the one which everyone instantly loves and recognises -.-.But for me,this song does'nt manage to fit with their vocals all that well esp with the fast singing that can make anyone out of breathe.)

♥Top 3 Fave DBSK Members♥

1. Jae
2. Yunnie
3. Minnie

♥Top 3 Least Fave DBSK Member♥

i don't have a top 3 least fave,but i guess YooSu will be in this category since they're my number 4/5 fave members.

♥Top 3 Fave DBSK Vocals♥

1. Jae
2. Minnie
3. Junsu

♥Top 3 Least Fave DBSK Vocals♥

No one.

♥Top 3 Fave To See In Concert♥

1. Minnie :O (becos i've seen another side of him aside from his usual snarky serious self)
2. Yunnie (becos he's soooo kind and caring to the fans)
3. Jae (he may appear the coldest,but you can feel he can read through you,that he knows what you're feeling,that he knows if you're crying cos of the songs,he's just a really sensitive soul who wants to care for the people around him,whether they're close or not)

♥Top 3 Least Fave To See In Concert♥

None.

♥Top 3 Fave Personality♥

1. YunHo (manly,matured,silly and dorky at times)
2. Jae ^^
3. Minnie (badass snarky whom i'd love to pick a word to word fight with xD)

♥Top 3 Least Fave Personality♥

None!

♥Top 3 To Want To Meet In Real Life♥

1. Jae (for the very obvious reasons...)
2. Yunho
3. Minnie

Shall add more next time :)

Miss this handsome looking Min with nice fluffy hair and such manliness in that black singlet :3

Minnie ah,i want to hear you sing again so bad ):

Can't wait for SMT though !

GOOD LUCK SPAIN + TORRES SPAZZ

2010-07-08T04:27:00.002+08:00

Ahead of the Spain VS Netherlands finals,i shall do abit of pics spam of Fernando Torres ^^

Even though i am sad Germany lost,but Spain deserves it for playing so hard in the game and dominating the match well.
Esp the Pedro guy who make so many heart stopping aims at the goal net.Thanks for making me so uptight and nervous throughout the game -.-

Anw,although Torres only came with 10mins left in the game,i hope he can be there the entire time for the Netherlands finals ~~since he is the only one i knows aside from the goalkeeper and watches out for T.T~~ .

Torres~Torres~Torres~

Even though i still think David Beckham is the most good looking football player i've ever seen,Torres is quite cute too :DD
He looks like a model!

What a cute gif of him...............

i think its Spain's first time into the finals,so please do well!
Hope they can make history by winning that gold trophy for their country :) !

Off to bed now~~~

WATCHING WORLD CUP NOW !!

2010-07-08T02:48:00.004+08:00

AM WATCHING GERMANY VS SPAIN RIGHT NOW.
SO NAIL BITING NERVOUS......... O___O;;;;;;!!!!

SO FAR ITS NOT LOOKING GOOD FOR GERMANY....COS SPAIN IS PRETTY MUCH IN CONTROL OF THE BALL AND ITS ONLY 20MINS INTO THE GAME......URGH OMG SO NERVOUS AND SCARED FOR GERMANY.

PLZ GERMANY START TAKING CONTROL OF THE GAME/BALL..ITS SO NERVE WRECKING!!

LOVE THE GERMANY DEFENDERS FOR DOING A GOOD JOB SO FAR ESP WITH THE SPAIN COMING CLOSE TO SCORING A FEW TIMES ALREADY.....

ARGHHHHHH why do i have work tml ):
am gonna glue my eyes on telly until 4.30AM,hopefully that'll be the time the match ends.....

GO GERMANYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

poldolski is looking cuter ^^ dammnit he's hurt his knee or ankle dammit !! :(
thank god its not serious *O*

************

OMFG TMD SPAIN SCOREDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!
GERMANYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
they're really missing the key players like Muller and Ballack ):
Although Klose and Podolski are awesome strikers..but i think they needed Muller and Ballack to team up with them to really do something with trying to score goals T.T
something's missing with the german team...somehow it felt like the chemistry and teamwork with the forwards are missing a little.
it'd be all gone if Spain wins this round,even with that just 1 goal.
OMG DO SOMETHING PLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

oh wow i did'nt know Torres is spanish!! *_*
He still looks so young *V*
but putting him on the field is danger for Germany ;_;

*******

i give up...
its only a few more mins before this game is over & the spirit is just dying -.-
sadly disappointing.

Oh well,when its Spain VS Netherlands,i'm supporting Spain ^^
Since idk the holland players that well,so good luck to Spain for the finals ^^ !

T__________________________T BYE BYE GERMANYY......;____;
Good luck against Uruguay though :) !

BORING RANTS ON WORLD CUP+BIGBANG

2010-07-06T02:39:00.003+08:00

Boring rants: World cup & BigBang/BB

Was worried about Argentina VS Germany last weekend,but turns out there was nothing to be worried about cos Germany beat them 4-0 ;DDD
Was watching the match while catching up with ex-colleges,so i did'nt really paid attention to who was playing though i learned that my past time faves like the goal keeper Oliver Kahn and Michael Ballack did'nt play from another college.
Not so sure who's in the Germany team right now aside from Klose who was already there when i watched the world cup back in 2002.
Back then i was also rooting for Germany and France ^^

& i'm so happy for Germany who is prob one of the few countries who can advance to the quarter finals constantly.
i really wants them to win this year.
But they're up against a tough opponent in the quarter finals ):
Espanol~Spain O.O

Good luck,Germany ~~~

Have been listening to Big Bang lately,they're amazing ~~not that i did'nt realise that previously,i've always loved their songs~~.
Love all their songs,the band's songs and their solo works,both are equally amazing ^^
i used to dislike Taeyang ----> cos he seems arrogant and proud,but when i started to listen to his solo works and realised his beautiful vocals,i'm stucked ^^
What a soulful,RNB voice he has,how great he sounded.
& GD too,esp his shine a light concert tracks,his composing of his own tracks,BB's tracks and his members' tracks were very impressive too ~~~

I think they sounded great live and i don't get why the other fans don't like them :/
Personally i did'nt like them at first too,but that was becos of all the controversy and comparison the media and fans make about them and DBSK,i changed after hearing their songs though.
& knowing TOP and Jae are bffs makes me happy too ^^

They looked kinda gangsta to me at first,but they're just cute boys who really loves music..
Can't wait for Solar to release here cos i wanna get it!!

JeJung,Junsu,Yuchun oppas,please take care in LA.
Rest as much as needed,we don't mind waiting a little while more.
Health is more important than anything else.

RIP PARK YONG HA

2010-07-01T02:39:00.004+08:00

BB...i know you're sad over the sudden loss.
Its heart breaking to lose a friend who was once so close to you...who you looked up to during the hard times in Japan,who helped you so much in your career...

& it prob hurts you even more when you can't even fly back to Korea to see him for the last time..
Stay strong,bb.
Nobody could see this coming and everyone's sadden by his departure too ;___;

Park Yong Ha,RIP.
Thanks for taking care of Jae and the rest of DongBang boys when they were going through hard times,thanks for being a wonderful sunbae to them who taught them things they've never learned,thanks for giving advices and encouragements to them.
Thank you for being a part of their lives.
Rest in peace ♥

I LOVE YOU,MY BABY JAE

2010-06-25T06:36:00.002+08:00

With all the world cup craze goin' on,my faves to win are Germany & Italy ^^
Sadly,France is out though ):
It would be awesome if S.Korea could win too^^

While my blanket's in the washing machine,i've been using the HeyJJ one.
Its furry and warm and the best part is the cute mini JaeJoongs they've designed all over the blanket.
Me wants mini Jaes~~

i think this is the first time that i've seen bb crying so hard in front of everyone and looking so broken down and sad.
& knowing that he kept saying "sorry" to the staffs as he made his way down from the stage and rushing to the backstage while weeping his tears...
BB,you don't have to say sorry for crying...
Now that we all know how broken you were when all of that happened,we should be the ones saying sorry for hurting the fragile you.
& i think becos of that,i've started to look at the brighter side of everythin' and only wishes the best and happiness for you,no matter where you end up...^^

As long as you are happy doing what you want,as long as you think this is what you wanted,i will be proud and happy for you too.

So,cheer up,BB,i still believe TVXQ will be 5 again.
Maybe i'm delusional,but i still believe in them :)

Misses the old YunJae days soooooo much.

When you hugged him from behind with such cute kiddish happiness..

When he held your hand tightly while introducing your lovely home to everyone...
Okay,so it was the TVXQ's family home.
Min & Su looks like their cheeky children in the picture xD

i'm glad i'm a Cassiopeia.
i'm glad i'm a YunJae fan.
i'm glad i was able to look at each and every one of you before saying goodbye.
"The last lingering look on stage" we all shared,i can never forget.
But,i believe we'll all meet again,back where we all started,on the stage...

FUCK OFF

2010-06-14T01:36:00.002+08:00

FUCK.
why do you have to instigate the stress and anger from me when i've been trying to control myself,to maintain happy and stress-free and positive?!
i came home feeling good and happy and then you fuckin' spoilt it.
Don't fucking touch my things anymore when you're gonna spoil it.
Even a fucking cease/tear pisses me off when the item is a limited ed or if i spent much of my money to buy it.
Seriously,just fuck off.
i don't need this kind of fuck shit in my life,not right now when everything's been fucking going wrong in my life.

THOUGHTS ON JYJ CONCERT

2010-06-08T03:53:00.002+08:00

Sorry for not being understanding.
Sorry for causing the hurt and pain.
Sorry for being such a selfish idiot who turns her back easily without finding out the truth behind all the decisions made.

Please don't cry anymore.
Please don't be sad.
But please don't keep your emotions hidden away by displaying a smile across your face.

what i think of W...

W= Double "U" / HoMin
W= Wait for us
W= the star sign of Cassiopeia

All this while,i was'nt being supportive cos i could'nt understand why such decisions were made,i was saddened,hurt,disappointed,angry,losing faith..it was a mixture of emotions.

Till you said that you were sorry for making decisions that caused us to feel sad and angry.

That was then i realised i should'nt be such a selfish bitch and not consider your feelings.
How afraid the 3 of you were before going on stage.
How the stress was really breaking you down.
How you worried that no one would come and support you.

Those..i never thought of before.

From now,i want to change.
To learn to appreciate the little things you could do for us,to learn to cherish your every words to us,to learn to support every one of your decisions and just put the trust in you that you know whats best.

i will learn to accept all your decisions,no matter solo or group,i will learn to put my trust in you again.

For that little hope of seeing you smile again,for the little hope that you won't be so sad anymore,with the little hope that i won't see you breaking down in tears again.

i don't want you to be sad.
Just wished you could be happy and has the best things in life and receives all the love you can get.

i just wished for your smile again.

i'll be supporting JYJ until our TVXQ comes back again.
i believe HoMin has heard your messages.
We know how much you missed them...how much you wishes to climb up again with them.

Our love is complicated,but we had the same dream.
Stay strong,my bb.

Let this be a never ending love story.

TAEYEONNIE IN SINGAPORE

2010-06-03T04:30:00.002+08:00

O.M.G.

Taeyeonnie is hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee in SG♥
But i can't go and see her,not that i want to stalk her,but i really wanted to go to the airport when they're leaving so at least it would'nt be too rude and it'd be more like a "goodbye & take care" thing.
But,i think she left already T.T

Oh well,at least i hope she enjoyed her short stay here.
Wonder if Su intro-ed her to come here and visit xD
Would be so awesome if he did!
Should get Jae and the rest of dongbang to come too srsly ♥

My impressions of Taeyeonnie has always been good ever since i first met her.
But i did'nt know she's called Taeyeon back then D:
All i remb was waiting at the dusit hotel,hoping to see DBSK arrives,but instead SNSD came rushing in,& me and my group of friends,being non-SNSD fans did'nt know how to react cos it would be rude to just leave and looked disappointed that its not who we're expecting,but it would be weird for us to cheer for them when we're not really fans.

But the first one sounds more awkward so in the end,we ended up cheering and clapping and i ended up taking out my cam to record them xD
The only ones i really know the names of back then was Jessica and Tiffany,but i could'nt spot Jessica as i thought she had long hair -.-
The girls all came streaming in,one by one so actually we can see them clearly ^.^
i had a really deep impression of Yoona cos she was wearing bright orange back then and also Yuri,who spotted us and gave a big smile and waved,even though we're prob the most awkward looking and acting group of fans standing there xDD
But her wave really did cheered us up and we got excited and waved back~^^♥
Though back then,i did'nt know she was Yuri.
After which,we spotted Taeyeonnie pointing at a group of fanboys holding big banner signs,looked shocked for a sec then waved at them~
She was sooo sweet ^^♥
After the girls left,we then realised the group of fanboys were all from SG xD
So,she prob had an impression of SG even way back then♥♥

i really hope SMT concert will be held in korea and overseas again sometime soon.
Misses the SMT family! :(

Hot new icon of OTP ♥

SUPER JUNIOR COMING SINGAPORE!!

2010-05-29T02:36:00.004+08:00

OMG SUN !

i want to see Superrrrrrrrrr Juniorrrrrrrr ~~~~~~~~~~~
Would'nt want to miss it out for anything !
So rare to actually see them coming here,but i think SME are starting to notice us after Shinee's successful fanmeetings here ^^

& thinking,it could've been DBSK as well...but oh wells :/

PLZ HOLD SM TOWN CONCERT SOON PLZ.
i don't mind travelling to Bangkok again,in fact i think i kinda missed BKK despite the rotten luck i had during my last trip,but it was a place filled with so much memories and overall,i like BKK too^^
Though it was hard to talk to the locals since i can't speak thai );
but i would so die to go to a SMT concert again,even if its gonna be without the group i loved so much.

Hopefully,they'll hold it once again,maybe after the lawsuit deal is settle?
i don't think both sides wants disbandment and i think actually,they might come to some sort of settlement soon without having to disband since both sides have never used the word "disbanding" throughout the whole trail.

i need to go to a concert again ):
Need to see Shinee,esp Taemin,SJ,SNSD esp sweet Taeyeonnie,CSJH,etc etc.

ANW,I MUZ SEE SJ WHEN THEY COMES...URGH no matter what!
i want to see charming Si Won again since i pretty much has not much memories of him in smt aside from the hot guy on guy kiss with Heechul~~~LOL love the couple.

i can't believe they're arriving next week already,pls have a fansign or sell the showcase tix or smth plzzzzzzzzzz T_T
i wanna hear Bonamana and SorrySorry live too ;_;

The infamous "pig ahjusshi" that Yoogeunnie calls...xD
Mean mean Yoogeunnie!

Discovered polaroids are actually pretty fun~

Nightooo~

YOOGEUNNIE DEAR

2010-05-27T02:56:00.002+08:00

i have a MAJOR crush on this guy...♥

Ever since i saw him with SHINee appas, Yoogeunnie bogo shipeon~~
i wanna have a cute baby like him ;_;

Someone who expresses his feelings straight out from his expressions.

Awwws Yoogeunnie~
your cuteness relieves me from some of the stress i've been having♥

ENDING CHAPTER

2010-05-24T08:04:00.003+08:00

MY HEAD HURTS.

i'm selfish,i don't want this to end.
But i can't keep holding on,cos when it ends,it will hurt so much that its unbearable.
But he'll be hurting even more.
& it pains me to know that.

A LITTLE UPDATES FINALLY!

2010-05-22T03:34:00.002+08:00

i has'nt been updating ;_;
Too much stress lately...i feel like quitting,but can i?
Just passing each day with no life,its not the life i want.

Anw,just learned about the Central World mall at Bangkok.
i can't believe its gone...it felt just like yesterday when i was there,getting all excited for the SMT concert...
& it was also there that i saw this Yunho lookalike's face and height and saw him walking away with this Jae lookalike's back..
Those were such fond memories..i hope BKK will be okay soon.
God bless everyone there...

& anw,i read about Jae going to a restaurant with Pi-chan and.........the guy i used to crush on during the hanazakiro days...Yuu Shirota ~~

Geez can't believe his connections has reached so far.lol.
I wonder if Yuu looks as good in person as he did in the picture above.
He looks so animated and handsome~Maybe a little bit more animated and handsome than Jae,but def not as pretty xD

Pig-rabbit's whining to get some sleep now~
Maybe will update again when i feel much better/relaxed and not as tired & shagged as i am now ):

Oh yes,btw I DO HAVE THE MARINA BARRAGE PHOTOS DL LINK UP :DDD
But i can't access darn hotmail,so i can't send the links out ): !!!
Ughf frustrating.

Last photo before i'm off to sleep heaven~

The "Sorry Sorry" pose is infectious :)

FUCK THE LAWSUIT

2010-05-08T00:40:00.002+08:00

OMG fuck it hurts so bad.

So is this really the END of TVXQ?

& all this while,i thought..i kept my faith that being together was still what you all hoped for,what you all wanted.
But is this possible anymore?
i cried when i learned that you felt hurt and sad without them,but now this is happening,i don't even know how i can keep my faith anymore.
All the while we suffered through this pain,we held on to the belief that all 5 will return,we waited for so long..but it seems like the outcome is just going to be "as long as the 5 of you are happy being separate".
Is that what everyone wanted?

Are the 3 of you really gonna end this without an explanation?
What is it that the 3 of you wanted?

Can i be selfish and wants my TVXQ back as 5?

i felt like i can never trust anyone anymore..

So many questions in my head,will i ever get the answers?
Should i just end this pain right now?

JKS+JUNSU+WORK STRESS

2010-05-01T02:50:00.002+08:00

Ahhhh so much to update~~~
Esp with my encounter at the airport sending off JKS :DDD
i can't believe he was walking directly towards me to get to the departure gates and his face is sooooo perfect!
During the fansign,he looks much more tanned.
But at the airport,without makeup,he's pretty pale and "fresh faced" ^^
& i LOVE his hair.
ah what a gorgeous man ^-^~~

i love his clothes too~
& he knows how to cook~Why does that reminds me of Jae too xD

Oppa looking so cool and manly~

i did'nt notice JKS's crew camera until he comes closer ._.
i was too stunned in my place,holding my cam in one hand and gaping at how good looking he is in reality *^-^*

Can't wait for the dvd to be released !
JKS bb♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Su oppa has arrived too~
Along with Junho~
Can't wait for tml ^^
i hope i won't keep gaping and repeating ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod sun xD

Angel bb♥♥♥

***

i hate being caught in the middle.
i hate the stress and truth is i like being lead than having to lead.
i don't know how the rest of the days are gonna be D:
ugffff frustrating and confusing,very.

MEETING JKS

2010-04-24T06:16:00.003+08:00

Soooooooo tired today T.T
But finally got what we needed...at least i hope they'll like it :)

i saw BB today.....he is so good looking ^-^
& that killer smile is still a killa.

He's prob the sweetest,nicest,most initiative korean star i've ever seen.
Someone who actually makes the extra effort to speak to us in english,someone who makes the extra effort to accept all the hug and talking requests with a big smile,someone whom makes you feel comfortable with his humble-ness.

That's rare.
but he was exactly what i expected him to be like :)
i like people who makes efforts to show his appreciation aside from just saying the usual thank yous :)

i hope you enjoy your stay here!
& i'm having a thing for the arms again...jae likes hands,jks likes necklines and i like arms :3
Eat more,you're too skinnyyyy ~

Blogging more when i actually have the time.
I need to catch some sleep,even if its just a 4hr sleep ;-;

RANDOM RANTS~

2010-04-22T04:45:00.002+08:00

i still don't know jks flight D:
But his smile is slowly killing me ^^
i hope i can see him on fri...!!

Saw Namie's CF on tv on repeat plays ;DDD
Omg she's so prettyyyyyyyyyyy.Her english sounds so nicely accented :3

Anw,i am doing short rantings here....i need to get to sleep.
This week,jks and next week will be Kim twins already.
Gosh time sure flies past fast.

After reading what he wrote,he has given me the hope and courage to face up to this again.
Yunho....Changmin....JaeJoong...Yuchun...Junsu..yeah,we'll wait...
JaeJoong is waiting,no matter how long it takes,how painful it is for him,he is still waiting.
So there's no reason for me to give up hope when he is still keeping the hope,faith and trust with the members.
Let our love be never ending...

Shim ChangMin ahhh,you need to stop killing me with those hot photos.
Honestly,i much preferred the candid photos of Minnie cos for some reason,he always looks so handsome and charming in the photos than the photoshoot ones.

*sigh* boy has grown...and voila,what a man~

heh.makes me excited to be able to see how Junsu has changed during the 1 year ever since the Mirotic con.
& how handsome will Junho looks...hmm :)

NOT GIVEN UP YET!

2010-04-17T02:53:00.002+08:00

i don't even know what to think anymore.
Forgiving?
Not feeling it??

Has things really been really bad?
Reading all that really makes me understand,a little,just a little of how hurt he must've been to have seen it with his own eyes.
How he wishes to keep everyone together,but yet he was unable to.
All i hope is that,guys,don't give up on yourself,on TVXQ,cos we have'nt.
i don't want to say good bye..i want to hold on.
i has'nt watch your concert in Korea before.
i has'nt seen you more than 5 times.
i has'nt had the chance to shout saranghaminda,i has'nt had the chance to say bogo shipeon.

i refused to believe the things about Minnie...even if he did,i don't think he did it with a cold heart.
He's always the one who smiles so brightly,the one who sings out with passion,the one who we can tell straight away when he's happy or sad or sick.

Please don't give up...

Anw,pervy men and ahjusshis,please stop getting your hands all over JaeJae ): !
For the first time,i'm jealous of you men who gets to touch Jae all over.
& it does'nt help with Chiba Ryuuhei san rubbing it in by saying how he can gaze into Jae's eyes,touch his fingers,feel his breathe and drink becos Jae allows him to D:
HMMPHHHH.

Now you pervy men stop fantasizing about Jae and saying how beautiful he is to look,how it makes your heart beats faster when you look at him even though you know its wrong.

Cos those are Yunho's property!
Mr Jung's only.

Even if there's no YunJae nowadays,i still do believe ties are fine between the two.
After all,they were the Omma and Appa of the group.
They had a special 8-9 years of friendship.
Despite having abit of a short temper,they were the understanding and big hearted ones.
i put my trust in them more than anyone else.
So,Jae is still Yunnie's and Yunnie is still Jae's.

Pervy men can stop dreaming now :D

CONFUSED + UPDATES

2010-04-16T02:21:00.002+08:00

i would appreciate a little of honesty,responsibility and maybe some reassuring words.
Something that tells me the 3 of you started this becos of your love for music,your passion to sing on stage,your drive to want to perform.

Its making everyone depressed/confused/pissed/disappointed,not knowing why the 3 of you decided to form another new band together.
Honestly,all this while,i've been trying to be understanding,supportive despite not knowing the situation,despite not receiving a single statement of reason from any of you.
i think the same old saying of "wait for us" is getting old,is'nt it?
Fans are leaving,one by one,fans are getting separated now,3 : 2.
Its heart breaking to see even the fans have split.
i think thats the worse that could ever happen to a fan club.
& i hate it.
Not knowing where i am standing now,not knowing if i should be supportive,not knowing how long do i have to wait,not knowing if the 5 of you are alright.

Tell me that i made the right choice,to be standing by you,to be waiting all this while.
i don't even want to think anymore becos of how much its hurting me when the news was released right after the 5 of you decided to stop all japan activities as Tohoshinki.

i miss HoMin terribly.
i wants to hear them sing again.
i think they're going to be awesome actors,but its their singing and dancing and personality which i missed so much.

i know JaeChunSu will do really well in Japan,since the 3 of them has such high popularity in Japan.
But things will never be the same anymore.
i don't know why they wanted to work as a trio and not as a 5 anymore.
They did'nt give a reason,they prob don't feel the need to explain.
But i do hope they know fans will be leaving,one by one if they don't clear up our doubts and confusion.

Sometimes i don't even know if i should still hold on.
But they has'nt given up on TVXQ,so why should i?
But right now i can't think properly without being mad and sadden by the trio.
& how much i'm going to miss HoMin more than anyone else,how hurt the both of them must be,not being able to sing and dance on stage which was their passion.

Yunho ah,i've always trusted your words...i wish you can tell us what we should do right now ;_;

Went and bought Yunho's HTTG drama :)
Glad they still have the HTTG plastic bag ^^

i have an urge to quit,to quit my work.
i think i'm going to turn depress one day.

Ahh anyway,JKS is coming next week and Kim twins are arriving the week after.
i should be happy :)
Though now i don't know how i'm going to face Junsu,but his smile always takes all the problems off my mind ^^
i wonder if that person will come too since they're so tight now...hmm.
i feel like booking the hotel now D:
But the rates makes me wanna cry T_T
*sighs*

STILL BELIEVING IN THE 5

2010-04-06T03:57:00.004+08:00

the only love & trust is in the hearts of the 5.

So,news has broke out and people are kinda reacting like they've breakup when they've stated that its just a temporary halt to their activities as a group.

i am not exactly shock or sadden by the news,since i've seen it coming & they did'nt really have much activities as a group ever since last year,so by officially announcing their pause does'nt honestly makes much of a difference.

i will still wait,nonetheless.
& besides,they announced it as a "pause",not as a "breakup",which means they will still get back together after all the drama ends.
By announcing the "pause",it means they still has each other and the fans in their hearts,which is why its a pause and not a breakup :)

i have trust and belief in them that a breakup is not what they want and that they might've thought it would lessen the pain and hurt if they can take a break from each other,to fulfill their individual dreams while they're still young.

No matter how much it hurts the fans to have to read/hear this,it must've taken great courage for them to have to announce this.
Knowing that the news will hurt everyone who's loved them so much,knowing that everyone would be disappointed and cry,they prob have been through all of that,as much as we did.

Anyway,i will still wait for them to reunite one day.
No matter how long it takes.
After all,i've been waiting for a long time to see them on stage.
Cassies have been waiting a long time for them to return back to korea.
Bigeasts have been waiting a long time for them to resolve the issues.
So whats a little while long waiting?

Though honestly,i can't be hyper over JaeJoong's japan solo activities atm.
But i'm happy for him,to be doing what he wants.
& Jung oppa,i hope you can take some time off to rest,seeing how you've gotten so much skinnier after the MJ tribute con.
There's still 2 more months to go before the big london one,which means more intensive training,but please watch over your health ^^!

p.s. i am so pissed over the Junho showcase cos now Junsu can't take pics or sign autos anymore ):
though i do feel cheated,but i shall just look forward to seeing them both :l
&&&& jks jks jks xD
wish he'd included more tix for his showcase! why why whyyyyyyyy do i know you only now D:
oh well,jks drama's gonna air soon :DD
& its at a pretty good timing,so i can cheer up looking at that beautiful smile of his :3

JANG KEUN SUK+EITA AND JAE+YUNHO THIS IS IT

2010-03-27T04:16:00.002+08:00

i'm SO glad i started watching You're Beautiful,if not i would'nt have known about JKS and i would've missed out on his trip here :D

Can't wait till he comes ~
1 week before my bday & also 1 week before Kim twins' arrival :DDD
yay ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

He has such a beautiful smile~
i wonder why guys looks soooo good in eyeliner D:

Tried out a little photoshopping with the new brushes.
Though the designs does'nt suits the background and atmosphere,but it was just a simple playing around with the brushes^^

thank you for taking away alot of stress and problems i've been having.

His video message for the spore fans is soooo cute xD
& he spoke in such nice english accent !
Appreciated him using english throughout the whole vid ♥ !
Amazing multi-talented actor ♥ ♥ ♥

Eita with Jae~
Jae's getting touchy with guys again.hahah.
Yunnie ahhh,too bad Jae's busy in Japan and prob can't attend This Is It concert ):
But oh well,at least he's enjoying himself in Japan.

Tml is the start of This Is It !
Gosh,i just knew Yunho bb will do well.
i can't wait for fan pics !!!
He's gonna look so hot with the dancing~

Yunnie fighting ~♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL+ANJELL+YUNHO FIGHTING

2010-03-20T03:57:00.002+08:00

Stucked on watching "you're beautiful",though i know the drama's aired for quite some time already .____.

i was thinking how cute Park Shin Hye is with the short hair,then i realised she looks vaguely familiar.
& it was then i remb she was the girl in Taegoon's Call Me mv,the girl who was in a love triangle with Taegoon and Jaeeeeeee O_____________o!!!

No wonder she looks so familiar~
Can't believe how her short hair can make her look so different that i could barely recognize her.
& she's so young O.O

i remb i was so envious when i saw Jae having his arms around her and entering some sort of club or room during the MV!

& Jang Geun Suk is sooo cool ^^
Actually,all the 3 guys are ^.^

Heard that Uknow sshi is going to attend England's Michael Jackson tribute con!
& he was specially invited,as an asian rep to perform on stage :DD
i knew leader sshi's hardwork and strive for perfection will pay him off one day :)
i'm glad all the 10hrs of training every day has actually paid off.
He's gonna be internationally known :DDD
As Jung Yunho ^^!
Can't wait to see him meeting up with the American hollywood stars and MJ's brother ^^
i wonder if he'll ever get star strucked too xD

Yunnie fighting~

made up my mind on certain things.
Maybe from now on,i should just focus on other things and forget bb for awhile.
& watching An Jell and Hello daddy makes me feel better.
i'm getting back to korean entertainment again,finally ^^

DISAPPOINTED

2010-03-12T07:56:00.002+08:00

Please don't make me lose my faith,respect and love for you.
Thats all i'll say cos i believe some fangirls can't accept the fact that i disagrees with this.

Maybe i do need a break from you,to think about things,to see if i'll feel better after the break.
Meanwhile,since you're receiving so much love from Japan and since Japan is so you-biased,i guess i don't have to worry.
Maybe without my support,it won't make a difference.

i'm kinda glad you ain't coming over.
i would'nt know how to face you.
Would'nt know what to think,would'nt dare look you in the eyes,it would'nt be the same.

Anw,BB Ho,please take care of your health !~~
Korea & us will be anticipating for your MJ performance :)
Just don't forget to take your meals and sleep.
Fighto~~~

YUNHO FIGHTING + YOOGEUNNIE!!

2010-03-10T03:34:00.002+08:00

Why acting why?
i've been avoiding all the articles on the drama,losing the mood to even click and read about those disappointing things.

Anw,Jung Yunho fighting~~
bb Ho is so yumyum♥♥ at the airport with the leopard print top :D
Poor Yunnie though.
Taking 10hours everyday to rehearse.
i wonder if he ever gets any sleep or rest or have he been eating/drinking well D:
Plz take care of your own body.We still wants to see a healthy leader back soon♥
though knowing his character,he prob won't take any rest till he gets everything perfect.tsktsk :(

---------------------------

Baby Yoogeunnieeeee is one of the reasons why i think its awesome to have kids ! :DDD

Yoogeunnie is just so so adorable~~
When Key appa returned back after a funeral,baby Yoogeunnie says he misses Key appa this much
V

One of the sweetest baby everrrrrrrrr !!
It'd be so nice and heart warming to return back home from a day of tiring work to have this cute little baby telling you he misses you this much T.T

Lately am feeling angsty just like Yoogeunnie here :( !
The father & son does look pretty alike.i like this Appa the most too xD ♥

i am actually feeling slightly better after watching sweet Yoogeunnie :)
Shall spam my blog with him more next time :D

A FEELING OF SADDNESS

2010-03-02T23:20:00.003+08:00

i just don't understand.....i just don't fucking understand.

i want to be happy for you,bb.
But my heart is aching more than beating.
My tears are rolling down out of dismay instead of happiness.

i want to be happy for you,but i can't.
And i don't understand...
Waiting?
Who were we supposed to wait for?
You?
Or Tohoshinki?Or TVXQ?

I DON'T FUCKING NEED DRAMAS RIGHT NOW :l
i know i should be happy,should be supportive and i hate it now why i can't be like that.

Things changes so fast...
Even a person whom you thought you've known for so long,changes over night...
i don't want to hear a thing anymore.
i don't want to have to try to figure out if its a lie or truth.
i don't want to end up hurting more than i am right now.

Maybe i have to take a temporary leave away from all these.
All these stupid things that confuses me,hurts me,saddens me,disappoints me,annoys me,upsets me,angered me,knowing i'll never find out the answer so soon...

So,i doubt you'd come here now,would you?
Right,go ahead and get busy with your life.
All the best for your career,but now i do think i need a break from you before i breaks down and cry my eyes red....

JEJUNG RINGTONE+THOUGHTS ON JEJUNG DRAMA

2010-03-02T05:42:00.003+08:00

JeJung's Honey You've Got Mail ! ringtone ~~

Download: http://www.mediafire.com/?2wm0nkmnm1z

Actually i downloaded a whole file of it,but i need to separate them cos they're messages all linked together D:
My fave is the "dingdingding" which sounded so dorky and silly -________-
& one where he said "fighto fighto fighto~"

i can't wait for the rest of the members' ringtones files to be up!!

♥♥♥♥♥

BB might be in a jap drama.
A Jdormon or whatever its called.
i don't know & don't really cares.
After all,its his music that i love,not the acting.
I wish them all the best with their acting careers now though....after all,if you love them,you'd give support in whatever they do,no matter you like it or not.

i guess i............................................ will just sit here quietly,waiting for them to come back as 5?
Out of them all,only Yuchun has never tried out acting in a drama (minus the banjun ones).
i like musically inclined men more :)
Someone who can concentrate on what he loves the most,who can work hard and knows he's doing what he loves and gives all the passion for it with his heart.

But there's nothing wrong with wanting to earn more money,to spend your time more wisely,to tighten up your position and status,to earn more fans.
& i know JaeJoong will do so well in Japan.

After all,most of Japan loves the man.

Good luck BB,maybe this is my temporary way of saying good bye to you if you really are going to be in the J-drama.
i will still wait for you,no,wait for the 5 of you to come back...
i know you're wise in making the decisions and i'll give you all my blessings for everything you do.
i will never say goodbye,but till we meet again........................

CHANGMIN DREAM+SPAZZ

2010-03-02T03:57:00.002+08:00

i just dreamt of ChangMin a few nights ago!
it was a really weird dream cos i actually saw him in my own country O.o lol.

Writing this down so that i won't forget about all those dbsk dreams i had,thankfully none of them turned into nightmares,just really sweet dreams or dreams with meanings behind it which i don't get.

i was in a shopping mall and happened to be taking the escalator down when i saw this familiar face in a purple top,taking pictures with lots of girls.
i squint my eyes and stared and omfg it was Changmin?!
But i could'nt believe it,even when i'm looking at him with my own eyes cos i just could'nt believe he would be in my country,like NO WAY.
Then i thought of the Paradise Meadow which he was still filming and it all made sense.
He's here for the filming O.O
Minnie looked like his usual self,handsome with a shy and humble expression on his face while abiding to all the fans' photo taking requests.
I started running down the escalators as i was a few floors up.
But Minnie had already finished taking the photos with fans and was making his way down really quickly before he got caught with more requests.
i was still,running,dashing down,hoping to reach Minnie,hoping to have a chance to talk or take photos or just see him.
& running,running,running,runs..........
My dream apparently stopped there so i had no idea whatever happened to Min and me ):

i don't know what the dream means,maybe its saying i need to chase after my dreams?
and Min is the subject used to signify my dreams?
D: idk.

Anw,Yunho was wearing a red beanie in his Oh!Boy photoshoot,which reminded me of JaeJoong's red beanie in the 2009 calender.
Awwwwhhhhssssssssssss such a couple-ly thing.
i'm secretly hoping Jae could attend Yunho's This Is It MJ tribute concert later in March.
Since he attended XXX,he should be able to see Yunho on stage too?^^

Made a quick siggy out of it-

i wanna make baby jaes~~
Babies are so adorable~

Just got my ViVi April mag with the sexy Toho booklet in it :3
Shall go down again to buy another copy for keep's sake or maybe i might consider selling it..
Actually i felt like buying 2 more copies cos i did'nt know the pics are gonna be in a booklet and big like pin-ups/posters D:
But i have no money now ):

BABY JAE MIGHT COME TO SG!!

2010-02-24T11:40:00.003+08:00

OMFG I CAN DIE RIGHT NOW KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

BB'S COMING TO TOWN
GONNA COME HERE AHHHHH♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

though i was half expecting them to come anw,but omg fuck if this is true♥
ahhhhh Jae babyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

i shall cook/buy/order chick rice for you now :D
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOGMGG♥
i want book hotel & car :( !

UPDATES ON ZUNO SHOWCASE TIX

2010-02-23T04:36:00.003+08:00

Annyeong sexyy ~

V

V

So,i just blew my 280 today.
Its confirmed,just that i'm hoping i get the good seats and not seats all the way at the side end plz.

They'd better not cancel the showcase and this had better not be a scam!
i don't want to pressure Su,but plz plz plz i hope you can make it.
Seeing your sunny smile & getting to see you close up will be so damm awesome♥
Like a dream come true,even though YunJae comes first on the list for me ^-^

01MAY ♥

PISSED

2010-02-22T07:08:00.002+08:00

The fuck i care anymore.
Charging 280 is enough,but criticizing and unprofessional?

plz,its just a SHOWCASE,not even a concert and there's only 2 people,not like all 5 TVXQ members will be there :l

if A is sold out,i won't even waste my money to get B or C.
There's nothing worth of it when you put "a chance to win".
Yeah right,the ticket is "free".
& yeah right,the 280 pack is worth SGD500 -.-;;;;

Money suckers much?

i'm not even going to go down there early anymore.
i don't want to get pointed out as "kiasu".

Good bye.

HAPPY 22ND BIRTHDAY SHIM CHANGMIN!

2010-02-18T00:00:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 22ND BIRTHDAY SHIM CHANGMIN♥

my baby min,the bashful snarky lovable guy.

-to be edited-♥

EXCITED + RANTS

2010-02-16T05:50:00.003+08:00

I AM GETTING REALLY HIGH RIGHT NOW AND ITS BECOS OF HIM DANG IT.
its like the best Valentine's gift ever for now since i've never gotten any V-day gift♥
godddddddddddddddddddddddddddd bb i'm glad as long as you're happy,i feel happy for you♥

i just downloaded Minty bday pics and LOL-ed at all the pics.The poses are so epic.lol.

WHOEVER HAS THE "XMAS DAY" PICNIC TRIP PICS AND VIDS,CAN SEND TO ME PLZZZZZZZZZZ?????????????????
i saw the pics on SY's fb,i want them all !!!

Anw,i have to sleep now cos there's work tml and i prob can't blog until next week ):
On hiatus again :(
Before i go,its ad time~~~~

PLEASE JOIN IN THE FUN !
i can't wait for the game to start~~~~

UPDATES+TVXQ ICONS

2010-02-15T07:24:00.002+08:00

HAPPY CNY + HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

Valentine's day,are you two spending it together?

Aaaah yes V-day & i'm stucked at home.lol.
Looking at Jae bb♥

Anw,i made a banner for Minnie's upcoming bday while i still had the time to do so.
Will then be changing the banner again in March i guess :l
Since i will be busy with work for the whole of next week ;____;
No off day.wtf.

A mini preview i am using as my siggy:

i think i love this siggy the most out of my YunJaeMin ones.
Cos the BG was created by me instead of having to edit from others BG images.
Will post up the banner when MinMin's bday comes :3

i spent a heap on makeup the other day & i got one really nice makeup set from Red Earth under the recommendation from the SS staff.
it comes in silvery leather wallet & the design just killed me plus it has black eyeshadow and blusher inside so i knew i just had to get it :X
The price was on limited time offer though,so i thought it was a good buy.
Will post pics when i clear out my digicam ^^

Spent 12hrs on sleep yet again,stalked on baidu,syc,lj and SoJ but still i felt like i still have tons of things not done yet.
& that includes the Su banner + Jae project banner i had to make by D.I.Y which i has'nt even do :(
how how how.
& i have to send out a postcard to germany soon but i won't have the time to shop for a nice postcard next week :(
& shops don't open on CNY holidays.
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY T.T

& there's the Junho showcase which idk if i should transfer money to my friend first or what since i can't check their site 24hrs.
Ughhhh &&& i has'nt decide if i should go for SJ con or not & its nearing March!
& i has'nt bank in my cheque so my account is dying.
So much things to get done..... ):

Anw,i did icons for TVXQ when i saw their photos from their japanese best of album!
The pictures are so godly beautiful i just HAD to start making icons.
& i did'nt just make Jae's cos all 5 were looking so beautiful :X

I C O N S H E A V Y

yay i can use them on forums now ^-^V
will update again when i have the time,tml might be my last update unless i'm dead tired or busy.

LIFE UPDATES

2010-02-12T05:00:00.004+08:00

Coped from SY's fb !

Slept for a really really long time today.
But why do i still feel so tired and sleepy D:

Am really pissed at Singpost.
Can we have other mailing services aside from Singpost?!
i can't believe they changed their floor location and timings without bothering to inform people.
i reached there and they were closed already D:

Seems like they intended to cut down on their operating hours and services due to the decrease in mailing by customers.
Which is'nt a good news to me since i always go there late D:
Ughhhh ):

Anw,my set of BP is finally completed :D
Met the seller today and got a load of dongbang♥
Even though they were second hand,but most of them are oos items and she was selling it cheaper as well,so i did'nt mind.
Shall post pics next time.

Spent too much today.
& the previous 2 days,my shop settlement was short of 8 dollars.
Getting two "8"s in a row is actually pretty auspicious according to chinese saying though i did'nt believed in these things,but it came true today♥
i have another bill to collect YAY♥
No ang paos,but at least i'll still be getting my money back♥

& here is a look at Kim JunHo,Junsu's twin bro.

IS'NT HE HANDSOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!
he's taller than Su and looks more matured but his smile makes him look like such a cutie too xD
i had a crush on him ever since Su intro-ed him at the "star's friend" show,he's soooo shy looking and all sorts of charismatic.haha♥

I CAN'T WAIT TILL HIM AND JUNSU DROPS BY OUR SUNNY ISLAND !!!
1 MAY > OH I'LL BE WAITING
sadly they're arriving on 30th May though ]:
why not 29th!?

Need to start planning board signs and other stuffs before they arrive.
Though its still early,but i always never get things done at the last min so i have to start early ):

CNY is coming,yay more time for sleep and myself ^-^

JUNSU + JUNHO FIRST 30

2010-02-09T04:11:00.003+08:00

OMG SHIT.

plz let me be the first 30th plz plz plz send the email now or smth OMG PLZZZZZZZ.

i can't decide,suddenly there's an overwhelming bunch of my fave artistes coming to town.
BEG,SHINee,Super Junior,Kim Twins.

i wanna see all of them,but i got not enough dough.
i may have to give up on my SJ plans,though idk yet.

But i def WANT the Kim twins♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT .

i was feeling all sleepy an hour ago but ever since i read the news,i don't think i can sleep tonight anymore !!!

shit why did i agree to go back to work tml instead of having my off day.omfg what to do ;__________;
i will smack myself if i don't get the 30!!!!
ahhhhh do they make exceptions for people celebrating their bdays on that week? T.T

KIM JUNSU + KIM JUNHO COMING SPORE !!!

2010-02-06T23:53:00.005+08:00

OMFG

KIM JUNSU + KIM JUNHO ARE COMING TO SINGAPOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :O

OMFG SUN !!!!!!!!
(for some reason,i can imagine Junsu going omg!sun! when he arrives in SG since the sun here is ever shining brightly.LOL)

No way in the world would i miss out on this.
So gonna get my hands on Junho's mini con tix.

Just plz plz plz be more location-wise and artiste-wise and don't start giving me those limited tix shit.
SHINee's event here was just total chaos & becos of the word "limited",everyone starts queuing up overnight for 1 member's signature.

& those fans who are'nt in the 1k don't even get to see their faces,not even once.
Fucking shit organizers.

Anw,plz KIM JEJUNG CAN YOU TAG ALONG WITH JUNSU AND JUNHO AND FLY HERE TOO AND I PROMISE/SWEAR I WILL GO AND BUY THE BEST CHICKEN RICE IN TOWN AND SEND IT TO YOUR HOTEL ROOM SO YOU CAN KNOW WHAT REAL SPORE CHICK RICE TASTES LIKE.

they are def not to be boiled xD

OH GOD JEJUNG PLZ TAG ALONG,whether its just becos you're bored being stuck at home or becos you wanna come and show Junho support or becos you can't live a day without our sweetest dolphin dear,JUST COME T________________T

i has'nt seen you since June 28th 2009 & if this event is gonna be on or near 29 April,omg fuck,seeing you will be the BEST 19TH BDAY GIFT EVER for me ♥♥♥

*needs more info soon*
♥fangirl mode on hype♥

HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY JUNG YUNHO

2010-02-06T02:19:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY MR JUNG YUNHO ♥♥♥

Ohoh-Oppa~
Do you know how much we missed you ):

You were the leader of TVXQ,and becos of that,there was 5 times the pressure on you to make things right when things went wrong.

It was never fair for you,yet you remained silent and never once did you complain.
& that was prob how the so called fans managed to take advantage of the situation and makes it even worse for you and your family.

But then again,you choose to remain silent despite the treatment and disrespect they gave you.

If there's one thing i could wish for you on your birthday,i will hope that everyone stops their abuse on you and your family and respect you as Jung Yunho.
As the Jung Yunho who strives to succeed,the Jung Yunho who helped TVXQ to the peak of where they are now,the Jung YunHo who has a big heart and does everything he can to make the world a better place.

That is the Jung Yunho i know,the Jung Yunho i love,the Jung Yunho i will always stand by and support.

i know things are getting rough right now.
But you've said and asked for all of us to not jump to conclusions until the truth comes out.

Just like how Jae has asked for us to wait and support until this is over.

The 2 hyungs/oppas who tried to convey the same message to us,who did this for the love of TVXQ.
We'll cherish every word,every moment from now on...

Jung oppa,we'll wait till you return again.
Till you return as the leader of TVXQ.

i do wish that the 5 of you can secretly gather together and celebrate your birthday without us knowing,without the public knowing,just the 5 of you in your own world.

No matter how long the wait,i'm still here,waiting for the day the storm clears,the day my OTP 5 returns on stage.

May you have a better year in 2010,Mr Jung.
Whether its solo or group,i hope you can be happy with your work & continue to be the perfect man you are.

With♥;

the fan who'll always be waiting right here: ChaeWon♥

LIFE AND FANGIRL SPAZZ

2010-02-05T05:05:00.003+08:00

A recent me.....

yay (^-^)v i have the Yunnie bday banner up already and although its height is a little too long for my blog,but i'm too lazy to edit it now D:
Had a 12hr sleep today but seems like it was'nt enough ):
i don't know why,maybe its the after effects of stalking blingbling or i am getting old without realizing it ):

i shall make a new new year resolution,which is to learn how to take better stable fancams.
& also change my digicam for a better quality one,like those big black ones that were used everywhere by fans.
But whatever,all i can remb of SHINee is just Bling Bling and his damm awesome blonde hair with that brown patch & how he's not very tall but he reminds me of Jae for some reason & i think i love him even more nowwwwwwwwwwwwwww

But i won't go into SHINee just yet until maybe a few years later,when they've matured cos they had ALOT of teenage fans,around 13~16 and it makes me feel odd and weird to stand anywhere near them cos i felt OLD T_____________T

So i think i'll just fangirl over da bling since he's older than me♥
& Onew too oh yes♥

Anwwwwwwww,bb has dyed his hair orangey blonde.
The orangey i wanted minus the blonde.
He dyed it on the day i dyed my hair red -______-;;
Oh bb,why? D:
& now he looks more like a hot Caucasian with the orangey blonde hair and his pale skin and big eyes.

i think the dye's not done yet though,so i'll just wait and see what color bb will do,but i'm hoping its not back to platinum white blonde cos the bleah is damm damaging to hair.

BB's bb aka Mr Jung Yunho is going to turn 24 soon !
Or 25 in korean age.
i honestly hope he can celebrate his bday with the members,all 5 of them.
Though i know you like hanging out with your hometown friends whenever you have the time,but ever since JCS moved out and stopped contacting,don't you misses them as well?
Is'nt it weird and funny to spend even a day without them by your side?
i really wishes the 5 of you can have a good time getting drunk at the party,having fun like back in the old times.

i fucking miss YunJae so much.
Life's incomplete without them ):
Even if they're coming back,i wonder if it'd feel awkward to chant YunJae at the concert now ):

Need to make my YunJae keychains sooooooonnnnn♥

March is coming,i don't know if i can make it for the Super Junior con,but i am pretty determined to go.
The back zones are all sold out already ~~~
So i shall have to get the standing tix if i'm going D:
MEH i don't feel like squeezing with the elves,queuing up super early and all since i'm not exactly an elf myself,but i have to make the trip worth so i have to do so D:

Changed my blog song to Tohoshinki's forever love,which was also the first japanese ballad song i liked from them.
i love their korean songs more,but their japanese ballads always left me speechless and crying my eyes out.

Till tml when Mr Jung bb's bday comes~
HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCE OPPA JUNG♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

BYE BYE SHINEE

2010-02-03T07:39:00.002+08:00

BYE BYE.

Today they've left.
Thank you,its all over.
i can return back to my normal life now.
& catch up with all the DBSK news i missed out on ;___;

But i need more sleep and rest than anything else.

BB Ho is yum yumm yummy :p

MINI UPDATE

2010-01-28T06:44:00.002+08:00

Will get down to Jae bday spam after i get some time.
For now i'm busy with work + SoJ + planning for Shinee's auto event.LOL.
Don't know what time should i go,i wanted to go early but my friend does'nt :/

& i still have yet to settle anything on SJ con...have to wait for their TP con first before deciding.

Before my hair goes red...

1 more day to their arrival !
Yunnie ah,can you drop by too?
Since you've just returned from JeJu,can you come here too ):

HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY KIM JEJUNG !

2010-01-26T00:00:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY,MY BB JAE♥♥♥♥♥
Changed my blog banner/header :DDDD
i like the compiled pictures of Jae ^-^

Jae from all the periods,from baby till now ♥
Jae spam coming up tml since 26th is my off day xD
Going to pick up my JJ mag reserved at Kino too :DDD

Busy with the opening of JaeJoong's international forum,SHADES OF JAE'D right now,will post more tml.

Oh Yunnie~
you're so fine~you're so fine
you blew Jae bb's mind too~ \(^-^)/

i kinda wish Ho and Jae could spend today together T.T

NO MATTER WHAT,BB,WE'LL WAIT AND SUPPORT YOU UNTIL 5 OF YOU ARE BACK AS 1♥

SHINEE SPAZZ

2010-01-24T07:26:00.004+08:00

i just heard the auto sess will be at my workplace.
Fuck.
& i was still lying about why i need to take 31st off x___x

& i don't understand why they held the auto sess at there.
Its like so random cos there were'nt any auto signing events held at there for a long time and there's so many bigger malls here that would be a better place for auto sess.

Fate?Concidental?LOL.

Thank god i managed to take off on that day.
If not,i can't live with the fact that the boys are just upstairs and i'm wtf stuck doing my work.
i would cry my tears out hearing them sing and talk,yet i'm unable to see their faces despite them being just a few KMs away from me ._______.;;

Considering Shinee's popularity + the korean wave hitting here lately,i think the location is too small for 1k people D:
Though i'm secretly hoping there will be less than that amount of people coming.
So that i don't have to get squeezed like sardines thats all :)

i can't wait~~~~
i think i kinda knows what i can give them afterall D:
Jong Hyun~~Onew~~♥♥♥
TaeMin~~MinHo~~Key~~Noona's coming ;____;
First time i'd feel so old O.O

2nd time seeing them...i wonder if they've matured.
i wonder if TaeMin looks older now.
i wonder if Jong Hyun is still as sweet and friendly.
& i need to take a look at MinHo more♥

Need to buck up on my camera skills cos i promised my dutch friend that i'd take photos of them♥

~~& i kinda hope a few certain someone will tag along though i know fat chance of that happenin'~~
-----------------------

Jae bb,plz wait for me T.T
i will come this year,hopefully.
PLZ WAIT FOR ME T_____________T
28 is just 4 or 3 years away.OH GOD (¯へ¯)

FALLING SICK + HELP HAITI

2010-01-21T06:23:00.002+08:00

My new siggy for Jae's 24th bday :)

In korean age,they would be 25 and that would means they're in their mid-twenties.
Which sounds kinda old?i don't think Jae likes that so i'm gonna stick to saying he's 24 years old ^-^

5 more days to go~
To something big,something which i hope will be successful,something which i've always wanted to do for Jae and now's the time to show what we can do xD

i can't say much for now since its supposed to be a secret,but those who has'nt heard of the secret proj can head down to : www.forjaejoong.blogspot.com
for more details + teaser~

Anw,Omma is sick today.
All i want is for her to get better T.T

& i just heard about Junsu falling sick to a virus ;_;

its funny how i keep trying to get myself sick to get the MC,but it does'nt happens and instead people around me are falling ill.
Stupid viruses,get away from the ones i love !!

& i heard about Haiti's second hit today....
CAN EVERYONE DO SOMETHING TO HELP THE PEOPLE AT HAITI PLEASE??
Even a small donation will make a difference and changed their lives.
They needed our help right now to give them the hope to live on....
i'll be taking part in a international project held by international Cassiopeias to put an ad on the korean papers & to give donations to Haiti.
The ad will be TVXQ related,something like what the japanese,korean and chinese fans has did.
This time its us,the international fans,the ones who does'nt ever gets any stand,to do something for the boys.

Though honestly,the donations to Haiti is more important than the ad right now but there's a reason behind the ad.
Anw,i shall donate after feb when i get my pay :)
i hope everyone esp fans of TVXQ can do a part for the international project ♥

Ho & his dad are planning to give a hand to Haiti too♥

友。。。能维持多久呢？
sometimes,it does makes me wonder.
i don't ever believe in friendships that could last eternally cos people always changes and soon,they'd be strangers,not the so called friends you used to know.

FOR ALL JAEJOONG FANS

2010-01-20T09:05:00.004+08:00

FOR ALL JAEJOONG FANS,PLEASE VISIT HERE FOR MORE DETAILS~
Help with spreading the word around is greatly appreciated !!!
Thank youuuu ♥♥♥♥♥

Clickey on this picture-

RANDOM UPDATES

2010-01-20T08:35:00.003+08:00

Do not scroll down if your parents are at home ^-^

.
.
.

Okay i did gave a warning ;D
Sexy Ho is sexy.
Which reminds me of what i saw at the mirotic con accidentally.... ._______.

Anw,the seating plan for SJ con~

Damm evil right?
There's no stage platform at the RM238/138 seating AT ALL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So duh everyone would want to get either the VIP or RM438 zones ._________.
Except for my friend xD
But another friend wants to get the rock pit and i want to get the RM438 seating zones D:
All 3 different choices -____________-

i'm nervous & scared over the ticket sales though.
What if the RM438 seating zones gets sold out before i order?
i don't want to stand the whole day at the rock pit and gets squashed like i did in bkk.
& i don't want to sit so far at the back and watches them like i'm at home watching dvds .___.
HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW [T-T] !!!

i wanted to get something for SHINee when they comes here.
But i don't know what.
i wanted to write letters,but i don't know what to write T.T
& i can only think of what to write to Jong Hyun & MinHo.
Prob something like: i love you guys!! Your songs are so addictive!! please hold a concert in SG soon!! Study hard & work hard!! All the best ♥

All the random similar messages D:
i can only think of writing long letters to DBSK since i know them better.

Arghh....& i've got no money for prezzies !!
Esp not for all 4 persons unless i can get my money pooled D:

Why can't i resist clothing shopping T_______T
i went back on all the sites & they tempted me yet again.
i seriously needs to save up for SJ con and Korea trip !!!
& also a pretty winter coat if i ever gets to go Korea.LOL.

Ending here for now,please read my next post for all JaeJoong's fans :D

SUPER JUNIOR MSIA CONCERT

2010-01-18T07:32:00.003+08:00

The photoshop world never cease to amaze me ^-^

A short post.
So it seems,SUPER JUNIOR IS COMING TO MSIA :DDDDDDDDDDD
OMFG ♥
Its for their 2nd asia tour Super Show~~

i'm in the midst of planning to go,but its annoying that they only have 3 ticket pricings and from what i see,the most exp one are the only zones thats really worth to buy -.-;;
what a great organiser,knowing SJ's popularity and making use of it to set the highest priced ticket as the only one worthy.
Damm it.
Thank god the conversion to SGD is'nt over 200 though ;_;

i can't wait to go :DDD
i wanna see Donghae,Siwon,Heechul,Hangeng,KyuHyun,Ryeowook again♥ ♥ ♥
& Kibum too,if he's even going.

Shinee in jan/feb,Super Junior in march.
yay \[^-^]/~

Just plz don't pull a last min on me like what happened to DBSK's shenzhen con.
Seriously the incident has made me pretty weary of going for any of the concerts now cos i really don't wish to experience again of getting everything cancelled at the last min and wasting my bloody hard to earn money.

Thats all.
Super juniorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥